Don't You Forget About Me
by seemenopeu
Summary: Forgetting small things is something everyone goes through, but what if you forgot everything? Quinn Fabray did. If that's even her real name.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey there. So I'm doing that thing where I put off writing my other stuff again. This one's in first person and is based off a dream I had a while ago, so I hope you like it. Also if there's any mistakes it because i ain't got no beta. Anyways, enjoy!**

**I would put a disclaimer but its pretty obvious that I don't own glee...**

I woke from a dream about going to some high school party. It had to be a dream because I didn't remember anything more about it other than it having music and faceless people. I opened my eyes but immediately shut them from the sharp light that burnt against them. I tried again, but only ended up rolling face down into the pillow below me. I felt drowsy and hollow and achey all at the same time. Never once have I had a hangover like this one; so deafeningly crushing against my head. Actually, I don't remember ever having a hangover. I don't even remember picking up a drink in my entire life. I still my movements as I try to recall my entire life.

_Jesus, this hangover is a big one. I can't remember anything._

I turned back over and tried to open my eyes once again, this time actually accomplishing it. They widen at the unfamiliar surroundings, a small room that possibly belonged to a middle school boy with pictures of action movies and comics on the walls. I looked down and noticed that I'm laying on top of a blue bed, completely dressed, but with cuts and bruises between rips in my clothing. I tried not to think much about it, since more than likely if I did I'd probably have a nervous break down. I pushed myself to a sitting position only to get rocked with dizziness and nausea. I rase my hand to cradle my face only to notice a tiny pentagram drawn on it.

_What the hell?_

My ears perked at the sound of two voices outside the bedroom door. They sounded firm and angry, but I've yet to understand a word they've said. It sounded like another language, but maybe a bit familiar… I didn't know, but maybe they'd know what was going on.

"Hello?" I thought I had said aloud, but instead a loud crackling shriek came out. It didn't even seem like my own as I covered my mouth with both hands. The voices stopped talking and the door opened slowly. No one rushed in for a moment as two high school boys came into view. A tall, goofy looking one had his mouth wide open almost like he was surprised and the other one, a big guy with a face that was the only indicator that he was as young as the other, had his expression contorted with confusion.

Moments passed before they made a sign of movement, the lanky one rushing over to me while the other only came into the room half way. I couldn't place their faces but they definitely recognized mine as the tall boy said words I couldn't understand and constantly made himself not touch me.

That's what it was, English. They were speaking English. Didn't I speak English. I stared intensely as his mouth formed letters that formed words that formed sentences that formed meanings that I just couldn't catch onto. He kept speaking as though I was responding and I heard a word, a name that finally pulled me. Quinn. Oh gosh, that name. That's my name. How did I forget my own name.

My head was beginning to hurt as his gibberish started forming into words and slowly I understood bits and pieces of what he was saying.

"Quinn, are you okay?" The lanky boy said, "I'm sorry… I can explain… You're feeling… Quinn?"

"She's hurt, dude," the other boy said, his voice making me snap my eyes to him. I hated him. I didn't know why, but I did. He was wearing a blue polo shirt and tan pants; a average attire for an average boy. He looked a bit built, maybe a football or hockey player, nothing too special. I also didn't know him, but the more I looked at him and let his voice sink in the more I hated him. I hated him and I was afraid to be in the same room as him. So afraid that I can feel myself physically shaking from him just looking at me.

"Quinn," the other boy in front of me said and I slowly turned my head to face his saddened eyes. He looked so familiar that it was almost comforting. I almost felt like chastising him for wearing a wrinkled stripped shirt and tucking it into funny places in his jeans.

"What happened?"

I thought that was my voice but I couldn't be sure. It was groggy like it hadn't been used in days and didn't sound like anything I've ever heard.

"I, uh," the tall boy swallowed hard, a habit I identified with being nervous, "You died, Quinn."

"What?" I asked. I knew it wasn't my voice because the words seemed to burn through my throat.

"We found you," the boy continued, his voice shaky and uncertain, "Outside Karofsky's house after his party. You were all roughed up and bleeding and we didn't know what to do. Do you remember anything that happened, Quinn?"

Just as the thought appeared my head rung hard, harder then before. The light became too bright and everything was too loud and I thought I was going to puke. So I turned from the boy and laid fully on the bed with my back to both of them. I just needed a minute, nothing was making sense and everything hurt so much.

I woke again from a sleep I didn't know I was even having. It was darker now, it must have been hours ago when I first woke up. I smiled as I realized that my head wasn't pounding and bring myself to a sitting position. Maybe this was all a dream and I'm in my blue room, completely alive and well. Wait, is my room blue or pink? Do I like pink?

I looked around the room and sighed when I recognized it as the room I first woke up in. Below the bed laid the tall boy from before, fast asleep and snoring from the side of his face. I slowly slide myself to my feet and waited until I got the energy to make it to the bathroom that connected to the far right of the room. I closed and locked the door behind me, then turned to face the mirror.

I exhaled in relief as I recognized myself. There were only little differences to how I remember me looking. Like my roots were showing through my tussled blonde hair that was longer than before. I was in a yellow dress that was ripped to shreds at the bottom and a cardigan across my arms that was completely covered in dirt. Blood was splattered in different places and bruises that matched a set of hands circled my neck. If that didn't concern me then the way my face looked older sure did. My eyes more mature and my jaw sculpted. It's like I've fast forwarded and ended upon some sort of jacked up future. How old was I?

A knock on the door startled me, followed by a voice, "Quinn? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a minute," I responded back before turning back to the sink under me and spinning one of the dials. I splashed water on my face and grabbed the closest towel like thing to wipe it. The towel smelled familiar but dingy and it made me scrunch up my nose and cough. I looked down and it had a name that I assumed was the boy's, "Just a minute, Finn."

I opened the door to the tall boy giving a goofy smile, "You remember me."

I didn't necessarily remember anything, but the way his face smiled so innocently and hopefully made me nod my head.

"Okay, I should probably explain something's to you," he said as he led me to sit back on the bed, he followed by sitting next to me, "Do you remember anything from the party?"

I tried to think only for a second before my head began to sting a bit and I decided to just shake my head.

"That's fine, Quinn," he took my hands and they felt shaky and weird, "You weren't having much fun and we had actually gotten into a argument. You stormed off and apparently got wasted. A couple days after the party, I guess you didn't come home and, uh, everyone was worried. Then Karofsky called me. He said he found you and didn't know what to do and of course I didn't believe him till I saw you."

"Someone had messed you up bad, Quinn," he continued, "and you weren't moving or breathing. I couldn't think of a world without you, so Dave gave me this idea of-"

"You didn't call the police?" I asked. I may not have remembered much, but I do know that that's the most logical thing to do if you find a missing person. A missing supposedly dead person.

"We didn't know what to do," he looked down at his hands covering mine, "Then Dave suggested we bring you back to life."

"What about my family?" I inquired ignoring his last statement, "Isn't there people who should know I'm alive?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, Quinn. You're not technically alive. We found you dead."

"That doesn't make any sense!" I finally screamed. He had to be making this up. I'm talking to him right now, how I even be close to dead?

"Shh, Quinn, it's okay," he tried to calm me but it felt like I was on fire and I yanked my hands free from him.

"Don't tell me it's okay! You just told me that I died and it's suppose to be okay? I don't even know who you are!"

He scrunched up his face, "What do you mean? You just said my name two minutes ago."

"Dude, I don't even know _my own fucking name_!"

He stood up and gave me a incredulous look, "Calm down! Jesus, it sure doesn't seem like you lost your memory. Still yelling at me like always. Dave was right, you'll be back to your crazy self in no time."

That word, crazy, it reminded me of something. Something that made my mouth sour and my head hurt. I didn't want to remember it though, so I shoved the slowly manifesting memory away and the pain quickly left. I looked down and noticed that some how I was now straddling the tall boy, left fist full of his collar and right fist hung in the air above me. His eyes bulged out in fear and mine were wide in surprise that I took him down so easily. I didn't know why I got so mad, but I did know that he shouldn't call people crazy. It doesn't justify anything.

Instead of saying that, I slipped off of the boy and distanced myself from him. I didn't move off the floor as I brought my legs to my chest and whispered, "I'm sorry."

He swallowed hard before nodding his head, "It's okay."

It wasn't though. If a smidgen of what he said was true, then I died and was brought back to life. It's not possible, but he sure is using my temporary amnesia to his advantage because I can't think of anything to refute his story. It's so messed up, I don't even know how I died.

I laid my head on my knees and sighed. I wanted to start crying, but I could tell my body hates that so I tried to hold it in. I didn't know what to do to make this better. I should want to go home, but I don know what home is. God, I don't even remember my last name.

**There it is, that's just the beginning if y'all like it. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm glad you like it so far. Here's another cause I appreciate you. Mistakes are mine and stuff.**

We parked in what looked like a school parking lot; Finn in the driver's seat and me in the passenger. I had finally learned his name after a full night of talking about what had happened. Apparently, some guy named Dave had convinced Finn to use some sort of freaky voodoo stuff to bring me back to life and it worked. Doesn't explain why he's yet to bring me to my family. I don't even know why I believe him. Another thing, apparently Finn is my boyfriend. Honestly, I don't know how I ever could take him seriously though. The best he seems is like a good ego boost.

"This doesn't seem like a good idea," I muttered. It's been on my mind since he made me shower and put on jeans that I had left over before I had forgotten my entire life.

"This is the only way you'll remember anything," Finn said confidently, "This place is where all the memories are. Once you get some back, I'll take you back to your house and everything will be as good as new."

The plan still didn't seem like a good one, but I still nodded my head and followed Finn out of the car. He took my hand and started going over what he had told me earlier, "After every class just stay back a little longer till I come to grab you and take you to your next. We have two periods together, so you don't have to worry about those, but for the other ones just stay low and you'll be fine. Stay calm and let the memories come back, okay?"

I don't respond as we made our way into the school. At first I didn't recognize anything, just crowded hallways full of people. Then I spotted a familiar face followed by a long, raven pony tail and a body that's way fuller than I remember. Santana. I didn't know I missed her, it's almost like I've been asleep for a decade not just a couple of days. She's way more beautiful than before, not saying that she wasn't before. Just saying that her beauty has been enhanced. Next to her stood a tall giggly blonde that I recognized immediately as Brittany. She seemed so fit and happier and I wanted to run over to them both and give the biggest hugs of their lives, but Finn stopped me.

"Don't talk to them," he said eyeing them cautiously.

"What?" I snapped and pulled away from the him, "They're my best friends, why can't I talk to them?"

"Cause they _use _to be your best friends. Come on," he pulled me away. I looked behind us for a second and catch Santana glaring at me. I hoped it wasn't true. I hoped she was mad that I was dating Finn and it wasn't directed at me. Please don't let it be directed at me.

Only two periods went by and I've been called on five times by each teacher. They both assumed that I'm talented at both AP Calculus and AP Psychology, but I'm just surprised that I'm even in those classes. I must be smart. Wow.

By third, I had managed to leave class early and looked around for anything to spark more memories. Sure, seeing Santana and Brittany brought back some memories, but that had been it. Nothing else looked familiar. Especially not this long dark hallway. Which I should probably admit that I'm lost. The bell had yet the ring and I've ended up in the bowels of the school. Finn's probably going to be pissed I've left without him.

I'm yanked to my left and almost shriek from the suddenness from it. I'm pulled into a classroom and almost fall over a desk from the force. I turned around to see a blond guy closing the door and turning to face me with a smirk in his face.

_Jesus, his lips are quite large._

"I've missed you so much," he said as he came at me. I jumped away from him like its second nature, but he doesn't even seem fazed by it, "How long has it been? Four days seems like a long time, right?"

He lunged at me again and I dodged, but he is basically backing me against a corner, "I think you've got the wrong person."

"Come on, Quinn," I felt my back hit a wall and the guy slipped his hands against it to trap me between them both, "There's no time to play hard to get. We've only got two minutes till passing period's over."

He began to lean into me, and I place my hands on his shoulders to push him away, "I, uh, I-"

We both jump apart as the door bursted open and in walked Finn. I exhaled in relief as the boy stepped farther away.

"Let's go, Quinn," Finn called out and I obeyed because I've started to hate being confused and being around that other guy was making me just that.

We walked in silence for a moment, Finn barley acknowledging me as he navigated us through the full hallways.

"How'd you know where to find me?" I asked quietly.

He didn't answer for a few moments almost like he didn't hear me, "The bell had rang and you weren't there. So I looked around."

Finn led me into a class that we had together, sitting me in a desk next to his before talking again, "It was the same place you've been meeting with Sam for the past month. Rachel had told me. It's almost funny that you couldn't remember me, but Sam..."

Class started before he said anything else and I tried to pay attention but I couldn't figure out what class it was.

So apparently now I'm cheating on my boyfriend with some big lipped guy at school for about a month now. How classy of me. Also, who was Rachel and why did she know so much about my personal life?

Lunch and two periods passed by without much sinking into my brain. By the end of school, my head was pounding from memories trying to refresh and we still had glee practice to go to. I didn't even know what glee was until Finn explained it and I barely still know what it is. The only thing I know is that we are sitting in the choir room about to sing songs and under no circumstances am I allowed to speak to Santana nor Brittany.

"Okay guys," A man walks in and greets the room. He's wearing a vest and has weird curly hair that still threw me off since I saw him teaching Spanish class earlier today, "I've got something special for you guys this week-"

He stopped in his tracks when he saw me and I'm sure if he wasn't smiling I would have asked if something was on my face, "Quinn! We haven't seen you for a awhile."

I didn't realize that he was even talking to me until everyone turned to face me. All faces showed general concern, except for Santana's which was just indifferent. I wondered why I remembered Santana and Brittany but not my own parents.

I must have fazed out because Finn coughed loudly next to me. I couldn't think of anything, so I just shrugged, "Sorry."

"No worries, Quinn, but I think everyone missed you. Including your voice. How about you come down and sing us something. Anything," the man smiled.

"I can't sing," I blurt out because honestly I barely trusted my voice to speak right now.

"What Quinn means," Finn interrupts, "is that she lost her voice. That's why she wasn't here those days. Also that's why I've decided to sing for her."

Finn stood up and placed himself in the middle of the room. He gave a sort of signal to the random kids at the instruments before they played some song that I didn't recognize. He sang, it wasn't something I knew but it included a line like "Don't you forget about me" or something. It was incredibly corny and it reminded me of all the times we've-

Pain came flooding back fast and rung over Finn's singing. I closed my eyes and held tightly to the seat. I tried not to think of anything but it didn't make anything better. Different solutions flew through my head like maybe it's just the song and if I sit through the rest it'll stop. I bit my lip and shook my leg to distract me, intending to stick it out but it was almost to much. That's until I felt a hand on my leg and a whisper, "Quinn, are you okay?"

I squinted my eyes open to see everyone's attention still on a singing Finn except for Brittany who made her way over to me without anyone knowing. She was still the same, still the same caring Brittany.

I shook my head, because there's no way I couldn't be honest with her, and she grabbed my hand and led me out of the room without another word. I'm sure everyone noticed but Brittany didn't seem to care so I decided not to either.

Once we hit the destination she wanted, the bathroom, I noticed how nauseated I was. Head first, I ran into a stall and heaved air into the toilet. Once I was finished, Brittany wasn't far behind as she bent down next to me and stroked my arm.

"What's wrong, Quinn?" She asked softly, wiping away tears shed from my eyes.

I didn't know what to tell her, so I decided that the first thing I could think of would be good enough, "What did I do to make you guys hate me?"

Brittany opened her mouth like she was going to respond but didn't when the bathroom door opened. In stomped Santana, arms crossed and a frown on her face.

"What's with the scene, Fabray?" She snapped, "You pregnant again or something?"

"Santana!" Brittany chastised.

"Again?!" I screamed. I was pregnant before? Why didn't Finn tell me? Why don't I remember?

"Was it Finn's?!" I screamed as the thought crossed my mind. What a horrible thought.

I looked at the two girls and they just stared back confused.

"What are you playing at, Quinn?" Santana asked carefully. I felt my lip quivering at the idea of her thinking I was trying to trick her. Add on the stinging pain from my head and the nausea and I was ready to break down in front of them both. Then the door opened again and I almost fainted.

"What's going on? Are you okay, Quinn?"A short brunette walked in and questioned immediately. Rachel Berry. That's the Rachel Finn was talking about. Rachel fucking Berry. I was mean to her every day and here she was asking how I was. I don't understand her. I don't understand anything. Coming here was such a bad idea. I don't understand anything.

It felt like a knife was stabbing my head over and over. I grabbed my head with both hands but it didn't seem to stop it. There was like a loud noise shooting through my brain and out my mouth. Oh wait, it was me. I was screaming. Oh God, it's only making it feel worse. I could only hears murmurs through the pain but nothing made sense over my screaming. It didn't sound nor feel familiar, a deep rumble that shook my chest and ripped through my throat. It was high pitched and didn't seem natural. My body didn't like it either as I felt like I was thrashing around over the floor trying to make it stop. I wanted to do anything to make it stop. I wanted to rip out my own throat.

Then I felt something I could only describe as relief hitting my limps, numbing them quickly. The relief moved into my torso and up into my skull silencing my screams. With my eyes still closed, I could feel my head laying on something soft and my hair being stroked almost too soft for to notice.

"You okay?" Someone asked almost as soft as the strokes to my hair.

I squint my eyes at the dimmed light in the bathroom and furrowed my brows at the sight of Santana above cradling my head.

"My head hurts," I whispered, my voice sounding almost like it should.

"I can tell," Santana whispered back.

In the corner of my eye sat Brittany close by. Her eyes were puffy and her face red.

"You just started screaming and we didn't know what to do," Brittany started to explain like it was necessary, "Rachel went to guard the door and I tried to help but Santana was the only one to who could calm you down."

I groaned and closed my eyes. Such a horrible position I've put these girls into. I began to smile at memories blooming about the constant times we've done this for one another and at the fact that it doesn't hurt to remember them.

"Wanna tell us what's going on?" Santana asked carefully, almost like she's worried that I'll be set off again at a drop of a hat.

I peaked a eye open to see her frowning hard, waiting for me to answer. I can't really, however, because how can you explain something you don't understand? There was one thing I could understand though, "It's Finn's fault."

"Of course," Santana sighed, "Whatever he did I'll kick his ass."

"Yeah," Brittany joined in, "What did he do?"

A loud bang makes us jump and a set of footsteps rush into the bathroom.

"Seriously, Finn, this is the ladies bathroom. No boys allowed," I heard Rachel call, probably to a furious Finn.

Steps stopped next to me and I could feel Santana holding me tighter, "Quinn, get up we're leaving."

"She's not going anywhere with you!" Santana snapped, her voice sharp and hard.

"I don't know what you've done, but you need to leave Quinn alone," Brittany commanded.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" He screamed and tore me away from Santana's arms. I couldn't bring myself to my feet, so he carried and rushed me out the bathroom. Before I knew it he placed me in his car and drove us away from the oncoming people running after us.

**Hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This one's shortish. I don't know why, but these ones are coming out faster than the others so I present you all with another chapter. It's also a little short, but I hope you still like it.**

We drove in silence with random taps from Finn's fingers on the steering wheel every few seconds. I felt impossibly tired from my freak out earlier and was wondering how they were dealing with it back at the school.

"They're probably gonna call the cops," I said aloud.

"What? Why?" He screamed, "What did you tell them?"

"I didn't have to tell them anything, your actions spoke loud enough. Plus what was I suppose to say? That I think Finn might have murdered me then brought me back to life?"

"You think I murdered you?" Finn asked, voice high pitched and squeaky, "Quinn? How could you think that?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. We haven't been the most honest with each in the past. The whole thing with me and that blond guy and when you fooled around with... Rachel? Did you fool around with Rachel?"

"Not necessarily," Finn turned to me for a second then back at the road, "You remember that?"

"I guess," I sighed, "Maybe my nagging and bitching and infidelities made you so mad that one night you decided to end it. Was I that bad? That horrible to you?"

Finn stopped the car abruptly and turned to look at me, "I don't understand how you could think that. Quinn, I love you no matter what. No matter what you ever did, it never changed. That's why I stayed with you. That's why I brought you back."

"Maybe I didn't want to come back."

"You don't mean that," Finn said as he unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out the car. I hadn't even noticed we had stopped in front of a house. It was huge and bright and unfamiliar. To my surprise, out popped the boy from Finn's room with a huge grin on his face as he greeted Finn.

Finn said a few words to him before pointing to me. As the boy began to approached I immediately felt sick to my stomach and wanted to jump out the car and strangle him, but I was exhausted so I stayed in the car gripping tightly to my seat belt.

He opened the car door and gave me a wining smile, "Hey, Quinn how are yah?"

"Fuck off," I snarled and it felt more familiar than anything I've said all day.

"Feisty," the boy the laughed before turning to Finn, "I see what you mean."

"You don't think that the devil possessed her when we brought her back, do you?" Finn said worriedly.

"I doubt it. I think this is how Quinn has always been."

"I'm right fucking here," I commented.

"She cussing a lot more than before, Karofsky," Finn whined and my eyes squinted away from him. So this is that Dave guy, I should have guessed.

I looked at Dave and gave him my most menacing look, which was actually really easy since apparently I wear that look every day or something. He was the one who gave Finn this dumb idea and here he is giving me a smile like he just won the title of Ms. America.

"Dave," I whispered, "I'm going to beat the living shit out of you."

I didn't care why I felt like this, but I did care about the way his face fell like he was actually afraid. I didn't know how I use to be, but I guessed my threats weren't something to play with.

He let out hiss through his teeth, "Right."

He shut the door and turned back to Finn. They talked a bit more, mostly with their hands before I got bored and stared through the windshield. I had to admit that it was a nice day, a nice day in.. uh. Where ever we were.

It reminded me of when I was younger and my parents would take me to the park. I remembered that they both had blonde hair just like me. Well, if I was really blonde. I combed my fingers through my hair as I remembered how my mother would always braid it before I would go off to play in the swing sets. She would hum a song and say the same thing to me every time: "A woman must look her best no matter the situation, Quinnie." Then she would send me off and I would always come back with the most messiest hair.

I wondered why we had stopped going to the park.

My thoughts were interrupted with Finn jumping into the car and slamming the door. He gave me a look and I folded my arms and turned away.

"I don't like that Dave-guy," I muttered as we began to drive away.

"You never did," Finn laughed to himself as he turned a corner.

We returned back to Finn's place and he tried to occupy me by giving me loads of books that looked more than familiar. It was maybe eight at night when Finn's door bell rang. He ran to go get it as i stayed on his bed reading a book that I knew I've read before.

It was only a couple seconds before the bedroom door flew open and a guy ran in with Finn struggling behind him.

The guy wore a leather jacket and had a weird mohawk thing shaved on his head. I couldn't place his face for the life of me, but the way he looked at me made my breathe catch. Did I know him?

"Quinn," he smiled, "Sorry I didn't get to see you at school today. If I knew you were going I would have gone too."

I looked over to Finn for some kind explanation for this reunion and he stuttered a response, "Qu-Quinn hasn't been feeling well."

"I didn't think she did," the guy responded without taking his eyes off me.

"It's contagious," Finn stepped in front of the guy.

"Then why isn't she at home?" The guy challenged.

"Look, Puck-"

"Puck." I recognized out loud. His name made me taste a mixer of nostalgia and regret and nausea. But mostly nausea as I stood up suddenly and rushed into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and rested my back against it. I could hear them both murmuring behind the door and it made me feel claustrophobic. I didn't understand what I was feeling but I needed to get out fast.

I looked around and spotted my only escape, the window. I ran to it, opened it as far as it could, and jumped feet first without another thought. I hit the ground hard, but bounced into a comfortable position before I started jogging. I knew, if I was really who I was, than my feet would take me home. It should be in my subconscious or something.

Minutes passed before I stood at the front porch of a house. It looked so familiar and my feet took me here, so this had to be the place. This had to be my home. I pressed my finger against the door bell and waited for someone to come. I didn't have to wait long and I placed a cool hand against my hot face as a confused Santana in pajamas opened the door.

"This isn't my house is it." I stated as I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.

"No," Santana said hesitantly as she pointed across the way, "Your house is across the street."

I looked to the house and didn't recognize it, then turned back to Santana and tried to not to cry, "Shoot. So close."

"Quinn," she began to say something then changed her mind, "Do you want to come in?"

I knew that I probably had to get home sometime, but being here felt ten times better, "Yes, please."

Santana made room for me to come in and I made my way up the stairs as I slowly remembered where her room was. Once inside her room I sat down on her bed and rubbed the comforter underneath me. Santana stood in front of me, arms crossed and I probably would have seen a concerned look on her face if I wasn't looking at the ground.

"It smells like cinnamon," I said aloud.

Santana shrugged, "Sorry?"

"Don't be, you always smell like cinnamon."

"Is that a bad thing?"

I smiled and looked at her. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she was giving me a look that I remember her always using when she wanted to know something.

She sighed and sat next to me before asking, "What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on," I lied.

"Don't lie to me."

I shifted uncomfortably at how she easily she was getting me to talk, "I got hurt."

"I know. I saw the bruises on your neck at school. Did Finn do that?"

I shrugged, "He said he didn't."

"What? Don't you remember?"

I shook my head and turned completely away. It was quiet between us as she analyzed what I told her and I had a thought that she was probably going to check out and tell me to deal with it on my own or something.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" She finally asked.

"I don't remember."

"I know, but like-"

"No, Santana," I turned back to her as a tear fell out my eye, "I don't remember anything. My last name. Where I live. What my parents look like. I don't even know who I am."

I closed my eyes as my head began to hurt again, this time wasn't like the others. It was a kind of hurt that came before I usually cried and it was a feeling that my body seemed to know well. Before I could fully cry, a pair of arms hugged me and pulled me into an embrace. I laid my head on Santana's shoulders as I shook and cried while she hushed and tired to comfort me the best she could.

"It's okay, Quinn," Santana said as she hugged tighter, "I don't know what's going on, but it's gonna be okay. Kay?"

**Hope you liked it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another chapter finished for your pleasure.** **Please enjoy, oh and there's some flashbacks in here and hopefully it placed together alright so no one gets confused. All mistakes are mine.**

I had slept over Santana's without another thought from either of us. It was actually her idea as long as I told her as much as I knew about my situation.

I couldn't of course tell her everything because how would you react if someone told you that they died and came back to life? I didn't think she would had let me stay over. I didn't even know why she let me stay over this time. I didn't even remember the last time she had let me come over to her house.

I let out a bitter laugh as I realized that I didn't remember a lot of things.

"Are you seriously up right now?" Santana grumbled from behind me.

I moved around in her large bed till I was facing her and gave a sigh, "I never really went to sleep."

"We have three hours before we have to get up. I suggests you get to sleep, Fabray."

I smiled and barely tried to keep in a question that I've been meaning to ask for a while, "Why do you keep calling me Fabray?"

Santana peaked a eye open, "That's your last name, Q."

"Seriously?" I looked away and tried to get familiar with the name, "I don't like it."

"Well you better start," she joked, "I was once told that the Fabray name was a multimillion title."

"Who told you that?"

"You."

I turned back to a half asleep Santana and smiled, "Finn said that we weren't friends anymore."

"Well Finn's dumber than a bag of dumb."

I giggled a bit at how sleepy Santana could barely put out a sufficient insult. Her eyes kept opening and closing and I could tell that she was trying really hard to fall asleep. Her hair was tussled against her face and it took a lot out of me to not reach over and brush it away. She opened her eyes again to see me staring at her and she gave a smirk.

"Go to sleep, Q." She whined as she lifted the covers over her head.

I was about to do just that when a memory popped up without any pain, "I'll go to sleep if you sing for me."

Santana peaked from under the cover with a lifted eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

"When we were younger you used sing me and Brittany to sleep," I remembered aloud, "So that's the only way its going to happen tonight."

"No," Santana whined, "Don't make me."

"Pweeze, Sanny," I pouted. There was no way she was going to get out of this one.

"Fuck, fine," she sat up in bed and gave me a pointed look, "Lay down and enjoy this."

I laid completely down and giggled at the dirty thoughts that jumped into my brain.

_She didn't mean it that way, jeez._

Santana cleared her throat and began to hum. As she sang a song that I couldn't quite place, I immediately felt my eyes daze and my surroundings became hazy. I rose my eye brows at how fast I was falling asleep until I realized that I wasn't falling asleep, I was falling into a memory. It was happening so fast that I couldn't even react as I noticed that I was now sitting up, criss-cross in a park across from a much younger Santana and Brittany.

_"Okay, Quinn, your turn," Santana said with a smile. She was wearing overalls that were a tad too big for her and smiled with a tooth missing from right in the front. I had teased her about that for weeks but in reality I had thought Santana had looked cute without it._

_ "Hmm," I bit my lip as I thought, "Would you rather marry a dog or lick a old person's foot?"_

_ "Eww!" Brittany squealed as she picked at the laces of her pink sneakers._

_ Santana doubled over in laughed, "You always have the best ones, Q!"_

_ "Come on you, you have to pick one," I poked Brittany's side making the girl giggle._

_ "I want to say marry the dog, but I'm worried about how Lord Tubbington will react," Brittany whined._

_ "You don't really have to do it, Britt," Santana reassured._

_ Brittany smiled and chirped up, "Then the dog it is! Your turn, Santana!"_

_ Santana smiled brightly at me and I sat up straight, ready for whatever she was going to bring, "Would you rather… Marry me or Brittany?"_

_ I furrowed my brows as Brittany sat up straight also as she prepared for the answer._

_ "But Santana," I questioned, "girls can't get married to each other."_

_ "So? You can't marry a dog either," Santana parred, "Answer the question."_

_ I looked between the both of them and bit my lip again. It was becoming such a bad habit that sometimes I split my lip in half if I thought too hard about something, but it was also the only way I could ever concentrate. _

_ "I don't know, this is hard," I whined, "Can't I marry you both?"_

_ Santana shrugged, "I don't know if you can you choose both."_

_ "I know," Brittany jumped up and down in her seat, "I'll marry you, you marry San, and San marries me. Then we can all be married."_

_ We both looked at Brittany thinking about the possibilities of that making sense before shrugging at the same time and saying, "Deal!"_

_ That's when we made our pact of being the Unholy Trinity and always sticking together. _

_ That night when I told my parents of my upcoming marriages, they sat me down and told me that what we were planning to do was considered an abomination and was prohibited within their house. I didn't know that they'd take it so seriously, but I took a great amount of offense to what they said and ending up sharing my first curse word with them._

_ I still remembered standing up, pointing my finger at them and shouting, "You can't fucking stop me!"_

_ No wonder they stopped taking me to the park._

I opened my eyes and squinted in confusion. What the hell did I just see?

"Morning," Santana called from the other side of the room. I sat up to see her changing with her back to me as she slipped on a cheerleading skirt before turning around, "I still have some of your clothes in the second drawer so get dressed. I'm making bacon!"

She rushed out of the room and I sat there confused for a few moments before jumping out of her bed. I walked over to the drawer and looked through the clothes skeptically. There was a major amount of homely dressing in there and I was surprised that my taste in fashion was so… I guess the word for it is boring.

My hands searched around for a couple of seconds before I found a pair of grey sweatpants. I looked to the side and considered actually putting these suckers on.

"Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance," I blurted out as a random quote from memory bloomed in my head. I didn't know where that came from but it seemed like it made this choice more justifiable, so I shrugged and put on the sweatpants and a random white t-shirt.

Once I made it downstairs I caught Santana placing food on the dining table and sitting down with a huff. I sat down across from her and stared at the food she made.

"Um, Santana," I started to say. There was a variety of breakfast on the table, but mostly just bacon. Like there was a pile of bacon in front of me, "Little heavy on the pig."

She looked down at the food then back at me with a shrug, "You like bacon. I found bacon. I made bacon."

I looked back down and tried to think, "There's no way I like it this much."

"Okay, so maybe I over did it," Santana sighed, "but trust me. You fucking love bacon."

I hesitantly picked a piece up and studied it before placing the bacon into my mouth. It took a few chews before I could taste anything, but once I did I let out an ungodly sound.

"Holy fuck, Santana!" I screamed before digging in for more.

She watched me with an amused smile on her face and every time I moaned she would look away, "I'm glad you still like it."

"I think bacon is like my favorite food," I said through a now full mouth.

Santana just laughed and shook her head, "It always has been."

"I'm serious, though," I took another bite, "Like you might need to leave the room so I can fuck this piece of bacon."

Santana dropped her smile before letting out a nervous laugh, "You sure do cuss more than you use to."

I stopped eating and looked up, "That's what Finn said."

She gave me a concerned look and picked up a mug that was in front of her, "You seriously don't remember anything do you?"

I shook my head, "Not really."

"Bittersweet I should say," she said softly.

I placed the piece of bacon down and wiped my hands on my pants, "Why would you say that?"

"It's just that," she circled her thumbs against the side of her cup before letting out a laugh, "I kind of wish something would come and interrupt us right now."

That left me a bit uneasy. What was she hiding that was almost good that I forgot? I almost felt like prying, but something that I did remember was that prying made Santana uncomfortable and a uncomfortable Santana wouldn't talk about anything. So I sucked up all my questions and motioned toward the bacon, "School starts in a few. Should I wrap up the bacon to go?"

She smiled and gave a nod and I tried to wrap up the bacon but instead ate all of it before we got into her car. As we rode, Santana tried to jog up somethings from my memory which instead only informed me of how much I didn't remember.

Once we parked she turned to me and said, "After school I'll take you home."

I nodded without saying anything because I knew it was more of a statement than a request. We stepped out of the car and parted out separate ways once we entered the school and I realized that my classes were actually easier to find than my own house.

It was before fourth period when I was barked at to go see coach by a girl name Becky. I didn't know who this coach person was, so the girl huffed and led me to a office where a blonde woman was sitting at a large desk. The woman looked intimidating, even with her head down reading her papers. So when she told me to sit down I did.

It was moments before she looked at me and she gave me a disgusted look once she did before saying, "What the hell are you wearing, Fabray?"

I looked down at the McKinley High sweatpants then back up to her, "Clothes?"

"Are you getting fresh with me?" I shook my head no but that only seemed to aggravate her more, "Listen here, Sandra Dee, if you don't want to wear the Cheerios uniform for some unknown personal need that probably has something to with those untalented hooligans you call friends, then so be it but at least have the decency to tell me so that I can kick your ass off the cheerleading team before you do it."

"I'm on the cheerleading team?"

"Not anymore, Goldilocks!" She stared at me trying to gauge my reaction, but I didn't really have one. I never wanted to be on the cheerleading team, that was always a dream my father had for me instead of what I wanted to do. What did I want to do?

I should have guessed though that I was on the cheerleading team, what else would I have done with my high school career? Does that mean that Finn is a football player, too? It would only make sense I guess. Next thing I'll find out is that I'm probably president of the celibacy club or something.

_Wow, Quinn. Living up to daddy's standards, I see. You must be so happy._

"I just kicked you off the team and you didn't even flinch," the woman leaned forward on her desk. There was hidden concern in her eyes, I could barely see it but it made me feel… Safe isn't the right word for it, "Is something wrong, Quinn?"

"Um," I looked away and tried to understand why I felt like I should just spill everything to this woman.

"You can tell me anything, Quinn," she continued and the concern was now leaking into her voice. I was almost unsettled.

Before I could say anything, the door popped open and in came the man who hosts glee club. Did I ever learn his name?

"That's enough, Sue! Stop interrogating Quinn! She hasn't been feeling very well and she doesn't need this," He shouted for my honor that I didn't know I needed protected.

"This is actually quite inappropriate of you, Will," the concern left the woman's voice and a condescending twist had been added.

"You know what's inappropriate?" He said before I zoned out. They argued back and forth and I swear that it wasn't hatred that they were hashing out into the air but uncomfortable, gross sexual tension.

As I zoned back in, the vest guy took my hand and led me out of the room. We zig zagged through the hallway before we ended in the choir room where a group of people were waiting for us. I recognized only one face, Rachel's, as they gathered around me and all began talking at once.

"Are you okay, Quinn?" Rachel asked as she placed a hand on my shoulder, "I saw you go into Sue's office and I wasn't sure if you'd make it out."

"Did she throw the book at you for not being at school for a while?" A boy with glasses and in a wheelchair asked.

"I'm sure everything was fine, right?" An African American girl asked to my right. She was touching a arm and with she and Rachel touching me I was feeling a little overwhelmed.

"No way, she's not even wearing her uniform. She's obviously off the team," an Asian girl said as she rolled her eyes.

"Guys, give her some room," a guy with a strange outfit commented, "She looks like she hyperventilating."

"Nah, she's fine. She had just left a meeting with the dragon lady, so its going to take some time for her to be back to normal," a blond boy said as he approached me. He strangely had the biggest lips I had ever- Oh fuck, that's that Sam guy. That guy who tried to jump my bones earlier in a classroom.

I put my hands up and backed away from all of them. This was getting to be too much, and I could tell that my head couldn't handle anymore from pain that was starting from behind me eyes.

"Quinn," Rachel begun to say as everyone started to creep towards me, "Is something wrong?"

"Why does everyone keep asking that?!" I asked louder than I intended.

"What the fuck is going on in here?!" An even louder voice asked and it was one that I recognized. I turned around to see a steaming Santana staring down the kids in the room and Brittany next to her with her arms stretched towards me. I ran into the taller blonde and let out a shaky sigh of relief as she engulfed me in her arms.

"We weren't doing anything wrong," a voice chirped that I could say was Rachel's. Her voice was beginning to be something I can pick out of a crowd.

"Can't you tell that Quinn still isn't feeling well?" Santana questioned.

"She looks fine to me," a male voice said.

"And you're a fucking idiot," Santana snapped.

"Santana, please, we were only trying to help," the vest-man-teacher said.

"You can really help by leaving her alone! We're taking her home!"

"You can't do that!" A voice that had to be Finn's shouted somewhere in the background. I hadn't even noticed that he was there.

"First of all fuck you, and second of all yes we can," Santana sneered.

"I'm not going to let you," his voice said closer.

"What are you going to do, Finnocent? You're gonna fling your freaky giant arms at me or something?"

That's when I'm hit with another memory. This one as vivid as the last, but not knocking me unconscious. it was almost like a stream of memories, flashing after one another, only lasting maybe a couple seconds. It was just of Finn dancing, or trying. His arms flailing all over the place and a happy smile on his face as gyrated his hips incorrectly. The time he was trying to get the steps down to a dance and swung his arms a little too fast and at the wrong moment smacking puny Rachel to the ground. My body began to shake as I tried to control the giggles coming up from when he would step on my toes or roll his body so hard and so wrong.

I couldn't hold it back any longer and I stuffed my face on Brittany's shoulder and laughed. It was the hardest I think I've ever laughed by the way my body shook and tear rolled down my cheek. Then I laughed even harder as another image of him dancing popped into my mind.

"Quinn?" Brittany furrowed her brow and looked up to Santana and the others who have all stopped talking to probably watch me, "She's laughing, San."

"Grab her," I heard Santana say as Brittany picked me up with impeccable strength and carried me out of the choir room.

I didn't know where we were going, but by the time we had reached outside I was out of breathe and another flash of images were starting up, "Oh my god! I can't breathe! I'm gonna pee my pants!"

I was carefully placed into the backseat of a car before it sped off and I heard a giggling Brittany and Santana murmur, "You better fucking hold it, Q."

**Hope you liked it! I just wanted to say a couple things really quick. Okay, first, if you look up Finnocent in google it's pretty close to amazing. I looked it up and the Facebook pages almost killed me. Second, I appreciate all your reviews and follows and stuff and I just want to tell you that I added a foreshadow somewhere inside this chapter about something that will uncover the mystery of something. Anyways, thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5-Dead

**A/N: Well hi there! Here's another chapter. Was this chapter necessary? Both yes and no, but I still hope you all enjoy it.**

I had finally stopped laughing and felt extremely worn out. I stared up at the ceiling of the car and tried to control my breathing as I listened to the silence in the vehicle. I wondered about the random memories that came into my mind. This time it didn't hurt at all but it completely put me out of control. Is this how its going to be? Are my memories just going to flash through my mind randomly or when I'm overwhelmed? It just didn't seem right.

Brittany's head popped up into my view as she was now completely out of the passenger seat and facing me in the moving car, "Why were you laughing, Q?"

"No, please," Santana whined and kept her eyes on the road, "Don't start her up again."

I rolled my eyes and turned to lean on my side so that I could fully face Brittany, "I was thinking about the train wreck that's Finn's dance moves."

Brittany smiled but her face quickly turned somber, "You haven't been yourself lately."

I stared at her and wondered what had made it so obvious, "My head's been hurting is all."

"That's not it," Brittany shook her head, "You can't remember much, can you?"

I looked away, "Did Santana tell you?"

"No, I can just tell," Brittany shrugged, "Why do you have that on your wrist?"

I gave her a confused look before looking at my wrist to notice that the pentagram was still there. It must have not been just drawn on but permanent.

"Yeah, Q," Santana commented, "I've been meaning to ask. Is that some devil shit or something?"

I whined and turned back to the ceiling. I didn't really want to tell them. How could I possibly explain anything without them freaking out? Technically I was still freaking out, none of it really made any sense.

_Fuck, I might as well say it._

"I'm dead guys," I blurted out. I knew that they didn't get it by the silence in the car so I went into more detail, "I died at Karofsky's party, Finn found me and brought me back to life. He said with voodoo. I woke up not remembering a thing. That's what's been wrong with me."

"Seriously?" Santana asked from up front.

"Yeah, seriously."

Any further explanation was interrupted with the swerve of the car into a sudden stop as Santana parked at the side of the rode. She turned to face me from her seat and I sat up to face them both.

"You're lying," Santana accused.

I scoffed, "I'm not. That's what he told me."

"Who?!" She shouted.

"Finn!"

"He's lying then!"

"Then how come it don't remember anything?"

"Am-fucking-nesia! I don't know!"

"Then what about the pentagram? The bruises on my neck?"

"Someone attacked you and Finn's playing some jacked up game to get you back for something!"

"Why would he do that? He's got nothing to gain!"

"To drive you insane, I guess! Look, Quinn, this is too fucking crazy to believe!"

"I know! But it's the truth!"

"How do you know? There's no way to prove it!"

"I'll fucking prove it then!" I screamed and I looked around me for anything to do just that. I reached under my seat and felt a metal compass measurer before taking it completely into my hands. Without another thought I plunged the sharp part into my stomach to prove to Santana-

I just fucking stabbed myself with a compass. I blinked my eyes at the growing pain in my abdomen and threw the tool away from from me. I place my hand on my stomach as the blood began to pour out until it coated my hand. What was I thinking, what the hell could this possibly prove?

I blinked one more time and the pain stopped and so did the bleeding. I put more pressure to my stomach and felt the the wound was no longer there and smiled to myself. It was already healed after a few seconds and it didn't even hurt anymore.

_I am dead._

I looked back up to see an emotionless Brittany and a wide eyed Santana both frozen in their seats.

"I told you," I said as I wiped my hands on my sweat pants, "How could I have healed that fast if I'm not dead."

I stopped smiling as I realized that I had nothing to brag about.

Santana stared at me in shock, but Brittany took a deep breath, cupped my cheek, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. She turned back to Santana and put on her seatbelt, "Let's take her home, San."

Santana broke out of her spell but kept her eyes on me, "But Britt, we can't just-"

"I think she needs to go home," Brittany interrupted.

Santana swallowed hard before wiping her face from tears that escaped and turning back to the front. She put on her seatbelt, gave me a look through the mirror, then started up the car and drove off.

We had a silent drive and it was slowly killing me (no pun intended) by the time we drove into a driveway. What was I thinking? I stabbed myself just to prove I was dead, though I'm sure there could have been other ways to check. Like maybe my pulse or something. They're both probably traumatized right now.

I looked out the window and felt myself cower at the tall home in front of us, "So this is my house?"

"Yeah," Brittany looked back at Quinn with a smile on her face, "You just call us if you need anything okay, Quinn?"

I nodded and looked at Santana who kept her eyes in front of her. I sighed, since I expected her to be this way, and got out of the car. As I approached to house, i thought of the many ways I could introduce myself since I've been gone for awhile and since I vaguely remember them.

_Mom? Dad? I'm home! _I shook my head. That was way too casual.

_Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I was busy fornicating with Finn to notice the time. _I shook my head again. That would never come out of my mouth without gagging.

_Is this the Fabray residence?_ Yes, start off weird. That always works out.

"Wait, Quinn," someone called and I turned around to see Santana catching up with me.

She doesn't say anything for awhile, just looked back and forth between my eyes and the blood stain on my shirt. In quick movements she pulled me into a crushing hug that I returned immediately.

"I thought you weren't going to talk to me ever again," I voice aloud though I was planning to just think it.

"We've tried that before and it didn't work out," she hugged tighter, "Why didn't you tell me, Q?"

"I was scared," I whispered against her, still scared that she was going to freak out and run away.

"You don't have to be anymore, I'm right here," Santana pulled a bit away, "Don't forget I'm just right across the street."

I smiled, "I know your place better than mine."

Santana gave a tiny smile before pulling away completely and pointing to the house behind me, "You better go in. I bet your folks are worried."

I nodded and turned away before walking to the front door. _Here goes nothing_, I told myself as I rang the door bell.

I only had to wait 34 seconds before the door opened and a woman, an older vision of myself, opened the door with a smile.

**Hope you enjoyed, sorry it took a while to get out.**


	6. Chapter 6- Got A Secret?

**A/N: So its been awhile, but this time it wasn't because of procrastination. It was straight up school keeping me away. I appreciated all the reviews and following and stuff! Thank you all so much! So, here's another chapter, hopefully to your liking.**

I sat back against Santana's bed as Brittany aimed and popped a M&M at my nose. I giggled and tried to toss one into her mouth, missing her face entirely and making me wonder how I ever got into any type of sport like thing like cheerleading.

"So, what?" Santana laughed from her spot on the floor, "They didn't mind that you were missing for like a week?"

I rolled my eyes, "More like they didn't notice. The woman… My mom said that they assumed that I was up in my room every evening when my father came home and when they called me down for dinner and I didn't answer they assumed that I didn't want to be bothered. They didn't even check."

"A plus parenting," Santana muttered as she popped some candy into her mouth.

"Yeah, that's not even the scary part. I told her that I hadn't even been there for a couple of days and she's just like 'Well as long as you're here now, thats all that matters.' And then I told her that I was gone because I was busy selling my body for extra money for college and she just giggled and said 'That's funny, Lucy.' Then she made me a grilled cheese sandwich."

"Was it good?" Brittany asked as she tried to stack M&Ms on top of one another.

"It was delicious," I said dramatically.

Though I was joking about it, I was actually pretty bummed about how things went with my mother. I was surprised nobody went up to check on me and a little hurt that she didn't even care that I was gone. So I took a quick shower, changed, and went back to Santana's house without telling her since she probably wouldn't have cared otherwise. Santana seemed pretty worried when I showed up back at her place but I gave her a shrug and she just let me in.

"Did she even ask you about the blood?" Santana questioned.

"All she said was that I better change before my father came home. 'A woman must always look her best, Lucy' she said. Who the heck is Lucy?"

Brittany and Santana looked at each other then back to me.

Brittany poked my cheek before saying, "You're Lucy, Q."

"Yeah," Santana chimed in, "You're first name's Lucy and your middle name's Quinn. You made everyone start calling you Quinn the summer after 5th grade cause you lost all this weight and you were trying to be cool."

"We called you Quinn before that, though!" Brittany realized.

"That's right!" Santana clapped her hands, "That makes us cooler than you,

Lucy Q."

I smiled at them as though I understood but honestly I didn't. How come I could recognize certain things like my middle name but not other things like my first? Was there some kind of thing dead people were only suppose to know? Like what if I wasn't suppose to remember anything? What if I was brought back for the sole purpose of not remembering these specific things? Also, why did it hurt if I remembered certain things like people or how I died? Shouldn't that be one thing that I should remember, how I died?

"Quinn, stop it," Brittany said as she put her hand on my shoulder.

I looked at her and furrowed my brows, "What?"

"You're crying," Santana informed and I put my hand to my face to reveal that I am in fact crying.

"You're thinking too hard," Brittany said.

"Sorry," I apologized. Thinking was all I ever did. From the memories I could recall, I was always in the background not paying attention to what was happening as I usually was reading or thinking about something else. What would I do if I couldn't do what I do?

"I know," Santana gave a sad smile as she stood up from her seat. She walked over to her dvd player and put in a movie, "We'll watch one of Quinn's favorite movies to get her to chill. Take a guess on what it is, Q."

I shook my head since I couldn't place any movie names.

"Casablanca." Santana said excitedly as Brittany jumped onto the bed.

I stood up and looked down at my feet, "I haven't heard of it."

Santana took my arm and led me to the bed, "No prob, Q. You'll like it. I promise. It'll be one of your faves."

"Quinn calls middle!" Brittany shouted as she moved to the left side of the bed and patted the middle for me to get in.

"No argument here!" Santana called back as she moved to the right of the bed.

I smiled at them before slipping into the middle and was greeted arms and legs tangling with mine before the lights turned off and the movie started.

By the time the movie was over, Brittany was already asleep and I was laying on my side facing Santana.

"That was a beautiful movie," I whispered still in awe, "I almost cried again, Santana."

"I know," she whispered back, "I was there."

I bit my lip and tried to keep in a question, but like usual it slipped out, "What happened between me and you guys?"

"Hmm?" Santana asked trying to keep her eyes open.

"Why did I stop talking to you?"

Santana's eyes shot open and she shifted uncomfortably, "We'd said a lot of things to each that shouldn't have been said. We hurt each other bad, Q. That's why."

"Was I mean to Britt, too?"

Santana nodded her head and I felt my stomach sink. It was different for the both of them. I knew that if I was mean to Santana she could always defend herself, she was never defenseless when it came to me. With Brittany, if I ever came at her with a fraction of what I ever came at Santana with the world would implode.

That's when I realized that I had been mean to both of them. I could just tell by the way I knew how much I could throw at them. How would I know something like that if I hadn't tried it out myself?

"Why?" I asked as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat down.

"Look, Quinn," Santana turned to look up, "It's over now. The past is the past. Besides, you don't even remember which is better for all of us. So, just get some sleep."

"Santana-"

"Seriously, Quinn. Sleep."

"Okay," I said as I sighed. I didn't know what I did to them, but whatever it was didn't just hurt them. It hurt me by making me lose them. I closed my eyes and tried to remember a place or a time when I was never mean to them but instead all I could think about was what I could have possibly done to lose my best friends.

The morning came in like a flash and all I could hear was muffled shouting. I opened my eyes to see Brittany sitting up in bed with my head in her lap. She gave me a bright smile as I sat up.

"Morning," Brittany shined.

"What's going on?" I asked because the voices were getting louder and louder.

"San told me not tell you," Brittany said as she began to help me out of the bed, "Finn's here and he's looking for you."

I stood up fully and stretched my limbs. They were feeling achey and sore like I had ran a marathon or something. I turned back to Brittany and gave a smile back, "Thanks, Britt, and good morning."

She smiled wider and as I walked around her. I opened up the door only to be greeted with the true volume of the argument ringing from the bottom of the stairs. I blew out some air and Brittany gave me a apologetic smile before I began to walk down.

I stood at the second to last step and saw Finn standing in front of a closed front door in Santana's house trying to yell louder than the small Latina in front of him. I quickly cleared my throat unrealistically loud until both of their attentions were on me.

"Why are you guys yelling?" I asked though my voice was a little froggy from the sleep I still needed.

They both didn't say anything, but stared at me and gave me weird looks. I've seen those looks before, I just didn't know where. I wanted to check if something was on my face but physically stopped myself because if there was then it probably was called interrupted sleep, "Again, why are you guys yelling?"

Finn was the first to break the weird silence as he walked towards me and stopped at the bottom of the staircase, "I came to get you and bring you back, Quinn. You can gain your memory there. It's safer."

"Safer from what?" I asked.

"From whoever attacked you. I'll protect you from them."

"How do we know it wasn't you, Fetus Face?" Santana commented.

Finn turned to her and snarled, "Shut the hell up!"

"Don't talk to her like that," I snapped at him, making him turn back around, "How'd you even find me?"

"I went to your house and Judy told me."

"Judy?" I questioned and looked to Santana.

"Your mom," she answered automatically. I rose my eyebrows and let that name sink in. My mom did look like a Judy. I kind of liked that name.

"Quinn, look," Finn took my hands and once again they felt shaky and weird, "Come home with me, okay. I don't trust Santana, the way she treated you last time… I can't imagine what she could do now that you're talking again."

"What do you mean?" I was confused. It was me who did something last time, not her.

"He's lying, Quinn," Santana spoke up. Her voice was a little frazzled and her posture jumpy, "He'll say anything to get you to leave with him."

"You haven't told her have you," he looked over his shoulder for a quick moment then back to me, "No worries, I'll tell her."

"Tell me what?" I looked over his shoulder to see Santana folding her arms and giving me a panicked look, "San, tell me what?"

"Nothing. He's lying!" Santana screamed to the back of his head.

Before Finn could say anymore, a stuffed animal popped him straight in the face. He stepped back a bit, clearly taken back from the surprise attack. I turned around to see Brittany coming down the stairs towards me. She had a stuffed animal in one hand as she took one of my hands with the other.

"Finn's being a jerk, Quinn," Brittany said to me as she looked me intensely into the eyes, "Santana didn't do anything."

Her hand felt much better than Finn's, but I tried not to let that distract me from all the shit that was just about to go down, "Promise?"

Brittany's eyes never left my eyes as she didn't say anything. She didn't even promise. I wanted to demand what was going on but it was okay, they'll tell me later I'm sure.

I exhaled and turned back to Finn, "Please leave."

His face contorted as he screamed, "What?! Why?"

"We have to get ready for school," I turned to leave but he yanked me by the arm.

"But, Quinn, you're crazy if you think-" He stopped in mid sentence and I felt my blood boil.

"Get the fuck out, Finn," I said, my voice rising a volume the more I spoke, "Get out! Get out, Finn!"

He put up his hands in defense and raced for the door, quickly opening and closing it behind him. I wasn't totally cooled off by the time he left and I gave both girls a pointed look.

"I don't know what's going on," I said, my voice cracking from my anger, "but someone better tell me something sometime."

I walked myself up the stairs and tried to think of something nice because starting the day angry was not something I wanted.

Turned out that anger was something I never could let go of easily by the way I was irritated at everything and I literally growled at a girl who bumped my shoulder in the hallway. I couldn't even talk to Santana or Brittany after the shitfest in the morning since I didn't want to say anything rude to them. Sure, they're hiding something from me, but I didn't think that would be a good excuse to cuss them out for no reason.

By the end of the day I had cooled down a bit, but was still irritable and wanted to go home terribly. The problem was that I didn't know which home I should go to. The other problem was that Santana was my ride and I couldn't find her anywhere. It wasn't like I knew where to look.

Well, I guess there was a place where I could look. I stopped in front of the closed choir door and sighed. Maybe someone in there might know where she might be. Though that would involve talking to these people…

I let out a groan and opened the door to see the girl I was looking for violently yelling at Rachel Berry.

I had caught the very end of their conversation as Santana yelled, "This is none of your business, Berry! Leave it alone!" Before they both turned to me.

I laughed nervously at the obvious tension in the air, "Sorry to interrupt."

"No worries, Quinn," Rachel said as she crossed her arms with an incredibly proud look on her face, "We were actually just talking about you."

I shook my head, "I don't want to know. I just came for Santana. I need a ride home or something."

Santana nodded her head and walked toward me but not without Rachel saying something else, "By the way, Quinn, Santana told me that you can't remember anything."

I groaned and looked at Santana who just gave a shrug. I didn't know why she would tell this girl that but I'm sure that had to be all. She wouldn't be going around telling people that I was dead, she would look crazy.

I smiled at her, "You got a big mouth on you, Lopez. I'm surprised that you can yell so often and tell other people's business so well without losing your voice."

Santana smirked, "It's a gift."

"If you need any help remembering," Rachel continued as she gained back our attention, "all you need to do is ask."

She gave Santana a pointed look making the other girl glare and snarl, "And what could you possibly help her remember? The times you were whoring around with her boyfriend?"

"Whoring around?" Rachel laughed, "How hypocritical of you Santana especially since you are technically the pot calling the kettle black. But to be honest, on the topic of indiscretions, both of you two should be no more than dishonored by how fast you've laid on your back for the opposite sex."

It took me a bit before I reacted with a gasp, "What's that suppose to mean?!"

"Nothing," Santana said as she scooted me out of the room, "She's just being rude."

Santana began to push me down the hallway through the crowd of people still there though school was obviously over. She seemed like she was rushing but I couldn't get what Rachel said out of my mind.

"That obviously means something, Santana," I said as she slid me down the hallway, "What did she-"

"Everything's fine, Quinn," Santana grunted as she pushed me around the corner.

That short girl couldn't have possibly have said all of that just for shits and giggles. Were we like the school sluts or something?

We went around another corner, this time less smoothly as we almost bumped into a short person, "I want to know the truth. How many times have I had sex and with who?"

"How am I suppose to know?" Santana whined.

"It must have been a lot, " I gasped then stopped to face her making her still all her movements, "Are you still a virgin?"

Her eyes went wide from my bluntness and she looked away, so I grabbed her shoulders to read her face. By the way she seemed so uncomfortable, I already knew the answer, "No."

If Santana wasn't one then there was no possibility that I was one either. No matter how mad we were at each other before, I knew that we would always do they same stuff like that almost like we had some kind of cosmic bond. It was incredibly annoying when we were younger, but no matter what, if one of us got our first kiss than the other would get theirs like a week or two after. Possibly by the same person.

My shoulders fell as I turned away and walked into the nearest bathroom, Santana followed closely behind, "I think you may be overreacting a bit."

"I know," I said as I leaned against a sink. I looked down at my shoes, "I'm just sick of finding out these kinds of things about me. I'm slowly getting to know myself again and I don't like me so far."

Santana stood by the door for a moment before walking over and leaning on the sink next to me, "Well, I like you."

I looked up at her, "The old Quinn or me Quinn?"

"Both," she answered quickly and I squinted my eyes at her, "Honest, I do."

She smiled at me and I gave her a small smile back, "You just said that cause you're obligated as a friend to."

"Not even," she laughed then turned dead seriously, "I like you, Quinn. I always have no matter if you're old Quinn, this Quinn, or any Quinn. I just like Quinn."

She smiled again and felt my face go instantly hot. I turned away and placed my cooler hands on my cheeks in a way to keep my face from melting off, "Stop it, I'm blushing."

"What? You've never been complimented by a hot girl before?" Santana joked and I turned back to her with a roll of my eyes. She stood up completely and turned to the door, "Come on, Red Cheeks, before you overreact about something else."

I let out a little laugh as I followed her out with my hands still covering my cheeks.

**Hoped you liked it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi again. Here's another chapter! There's a flashback in this one so I hope you like it. All mistakes are mine of course.**

I folded my arms as the school bus bounced up and down making my shoulder come into contact with Santana's more than constantly. I didn't get it, how could glee club take a school trip on Monday without notifying any of the teachers. I looked around at all the kids laughing and talking on the bus and realized that no one really cared that technically we were all ditching school. It wasn't like this club was a free pass to ditch anything. Well, so I thought.

"I hate them all," Santana groaned next to me and I looked over to see that she was looking in the same direction I was, glaring at the glee kids with a mighty stare.

During these past few days I had yet to to stay the night at my own house and was beginning to notice little quirks about Santana. Actually, I think I had already known them pretty well, I just had to be reminded. Like how she never asked when I was planning to go back home because she didn't want to be alone when neither her parents nor Brittany was there. Or how she would sneak an extra piece of bacon onto my plate whenever thought I wasn't looking cause of how much it amused her when I would devourer the meat like it was my last meal. Or how she would talk about the glee club with such pride but also so much anger when she would discuss certain members. God, she was the cutest.

"It wont be that bad I'm sure," I reassured both of us as the bus rounded a sharp corner. We were taking a trip down to another school to watch some choir perform and practice for a big competition we were all suppose to be in. Rachel had said that it was simply scoping out the competition, while the majority of the others came clean and said that we were spying.

Santana sighed as the bus came to a stop and the teacher-vest-man-guy stood up to announce, "Okay guys, make sure we all stay together. We don't want a repeat of what happened last time. Right, Puckermen?"

The bus laughed except for Puck, who just shook his head. The vest teacher clapped his hands and smiled brightly, "Right. Let's go check out our competitors!"

We loaded off the bus quickly and before I could follow the others into the school I felt Santana grab ahold to my hand. I looked at her with furrowed brows and she shrugged, "I don't want you to get lost, Q."

I rolled my eyes and let her lead me in the building right behind a bouncing Brittany.

Their performance lasted an entire hour and ten minutes and yes I was counting. Sure, it was a practice for them, but there was no breaks or intermissions. They just kept singing and dancing and I don't know how we were going to last during this competition. I have yet to even see our glee kids dance in sync. Vocal Adrenaline was going to cream us.

We had all snuck out without any people from the choir seeing us and made our way to a coffee shop for lunch. With all of us sitting at a table, except for that teacher man who left sometime ago, we conversed and laughed about small topics. I looked down at my hand and wondered why Santana was still holding it since there was no way I could get lost if i'm sitting at a table.

"Hey, Quinn, " I heard Puck call from across the table and I gave him a small smile, "How have you been? I feel like we haven't talked in days."

I swallowed hard because I've been avoiding him since I recognized him at Finn's house. He made me feel like I was missing something painfully and I didn't want to find out what it was, "Yeah, it's been awhile."

He started a extremely pleasant conversation and it worried me since I've only been having those with only Santana and Brittany. He even made a few jokes and I laughed because they were actually funny. I didn't even need half of my memory to carry on the conversation with him and it was so easy. Of course that couldn't last very long.

"Wow, Quinn and Puckermen talking again. It's just like old times, " Finn commented bitterly. He was all the way back into his chair, arms folded and like he was pouting and I sighed because I had actually hoped that he could be pleasant for at least a little while longer, "I don't mean to interrupt. Please continue, it's not like you haven't talked to me, your boyfriend, in a few days."

"Cool down, bro," Puck laughed, "We're just talking, no need to be jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" Finn snapped, catching everyone's attention, "I just don't like my girlfriend spending more time with you and her ex best friends than with me."

"She's not your property, Huckleberry Finn" Santana said as her hand squeezed mine more tightly, "She can hang out with whomever she wants."

"Yeah, dude," Puck said, feeling that the air had shifted, "What's your fucking problem."

"My problem is the both of you," he snapped again, then looked at me with pleading eyes, "I'd just wish you'd remember. How it use to be between me and you. When we were happy."

I lifted an eyebrow in confusion but was quickly hit with pain from the back of my head. He signaled a memory that I didn't want and wow that pain was coming hard. I blinked my eyes and brought my free hand to rub my temple.

"We were happy sometime," Finn continued, "I know we were. Try to remember when we are first date, our first kiss, anything Quinn."

I bit my lip and looked down at the table as that brought even more pain. I needed him to stop talking, if only for a second, then maybe the throbbing would stop, "Shut up, Finn."

"What about when I first told you that I loved you, " he continued and I ground my teeth as the pounding begun and my vision became blurry. I couldn't hear anymore of what he was saying as my surroundings changed and I held my breathe as I unwillingly slipped into a memory.

_It was the summer before sophomore year and we all were hanging out at Santana's pool during what seemed to be the hottest day of the summer. Santana and I stayed by the edge of the pool while Brittany had long ago jumped in. We were all in our bathing suits to keep cool, but it seemed almost impossible in the weather._

_ "It's so hot," Santana whined as her sunglasses covered face leaned on my shoulder._

_ "Get off, its too hot," I laughed but didn't make Santana move. Instead we sat there for a while just watching Brittany play by herself and the random floaties around her._

_ "Why can't my house have a pool?" I thought aloud._

_ "Why? You want to spend more time with your folks?" Santana teased._

_ I thought about it only for a second before shaking my head, "No way. But it would be easier to stay cool cause we have popsicles there."_

_ Santana lifted her head and smiled, "Nah uh."_

_ "Yes, sir," I smiled back, "Wanna go get some?"_

_ "Hell yeah!" Santana jumped up and pulled me up with her, "Britt-Britt, we'll be right back! We're gonna get popsicles! It'll take us 10 minutes max!"_

_ Brittany just smiled and lifted a thumbs up before we raced through the back fence and into my front yard._

_ My parents weren't home so I sung and skipped into the house, Santana following my lead happily. I walked into the kitchen and bent over into the ice freezer, "Do you think Britt will want a strawberry or grape? Maybe an orange?"_

_ I was met with silence, so I looked over to find Santana in a daze staring straight at my ass. It wasn't the first time I've caught her but no matter how many times I did she still went for it. The girl had no decency. I stood up straight and put my hands on my hips, "Are you for reals looking at my butt?"_

_ Santana's eyebrows rose and she shook her head._

_ I folded my arms and gave a smirk. She was one of the worst liars I knew, "Are you a pervert or something?"_

_ "Whatever, Quinn, if you didn't want me to look you wouldn't have bent down."_

_ I rolled my eyes and looked down at the freezer before back at her, "You're not going to be perving on me if I go back to the ice box again, will you?"_

_ Santana rolled her eyes back at me, "Who the fuck says ice box?"_

_ I sighed and bent back over to grab our favorite flavors but gasped and dropped them on the floor once I felt a hand on my back side, "The hell are you doing, Lopez?!"_

_ "You didn't want me to look so I touched," she said almost too smoothly and i stood up completely to face her._

_ She was standing way too close and I couldn't tell if I was sweating from the heat or from her proximity, "I didn't want you perving. Touching is a type of perving."_

_ "Are you saying you didn't like it it?" Santana smirked as she came closer._

_ I folded my arms and gave her my best incredulous look, "Can you go for one day without being such a freak?"_

_ "Can you go for one day without being so fucking pretty?" She said with an emotionless look on her face._

_ I squinted my eyes and looked away. I didn't get what she was doing. Just seconds ago we were hanging out as friends and now we're flirting in my parents kitchen. Was this flirting, because all it seemed to do was make me feel extremely nervous._

_ I bit my lip in thought as I looked back her, "What?"_

_ She didn't bother to answer as she leaned in, making me flinch and fall against the fridge. Santana smirked and without hesitation, placed a kiss on cheek, then my jaw, then my neck. The kisses weren't light and they made me want to push her away and question what she was doing but instead I stood still as she continued because it tickled and I kind of liked it. _

_ It wasn't long before she was flushed against me giving me my first hickey and as I begun to pant, I couldn't for the life of me tell her to stop. I didn't even know exactly where her hands were, one on my hip and the other somewhere on the fridge behind me, maybe behind my head, but my stomach felt warm like she was laying a thousand of her hands on top of it to keep me from moving._

_ Then her kisses went up till she reached my lips and I gasped silently and harder then I think I ever did. It was my first kiss and it was everything that the movies said it would be. To call it perfect would have been far too romantic and to call it great would have been an understatement. All I knew was that as I brought my hand to cup her face and shut my eyes tighter, I didn't want it to stop. Though as she began to deepen the kiss, I felt my brain catch up._

_ I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her a away a bit, "What are you doing?"_

_ "Does Finn make you feel that way?" She asked quickly and suddenly, her voice shaken and raw. She had tear streaks on her cheeks and I hadn't even noticed that she started crying. _

_ Of course Finn didn't make me feel that way. We had only started "going out" before school ended and that was only because I found out that he was going to be on the football team. The loser hasn't even held my hand._

_ "No way, Santana," I placed my hand back on her cheek, not sure what the girl was looking for me to say, "You're way better than Finn could ever be."_

_ "I don't want encouragement, Quinn," Santana moved away from me and wiped her eyes._

_ "Then what do you want, San?"_

_ "I want you," Santana said quietly as she looked away. I was shocked, I was at lost for words. I didn't ever think of Santana that way. At least I didn't think I did._

_ "Santana," my voice softer than I wanted it to be, "I don't know what to say."_

_ "I don't want you to say anything, " she said almost coldly as her walls were going up fast, "I just wanted to tell you how I felt."_

_ It scared me and confused me that Santana felt anything for me. We were friends, best friends and this would ruin everything between all of us. I couldn't let that happen. I had to stop this before anything changed because I'm sure that was the last thing we needed._

_ "I'm going out with Finn, remember?" I said and she nodded her head. Then it hit me and I shifted my eyes away from her as I realized what we had just done, "Besides I'm straight. And your straight."_

_ Santana didn't say anything so I turned around and closed the freezer, "I heard Puckermen likes you. You should go out with him."_

_ A beat passed before she muttered a weak, "Kay."_

_ I sighed and picked up the popsicles from the floor before handing them to Santana, "We should go back to Brittany before she worries."_

_ Santana gave me the saddest look I had ever seen before nodding and leading us out the door. By the time we got to Brittany, the popsicles had mettled._

I squinted my eyes open to see that I was no longer at Santana's pool or the coffee shop but at a whitish room on a bed. My head was still stinging but it wasn't pounding which was a improvement I guess.

"Where am I?" I asked aloud and I noticed that my voice wasn't harsh like the other times I've woken up, so I hadn't been out too long.

"You're back at McKinley in the nurse's office," a voice said and I immediately knew it belonged to Santana. I looked to my side to see her sitting next to my bed with a smile on her face, "You passed out at the table and it took a lot of man power to stop Finn from taking you but I got you away just in time. I couldn't necessarily bring you home and my parents are home and you hate hospitals, so I hope here's okay for now."

She gave me a smile and I flinched at how nice it felt. I don't think she would have been so nice if she would have gotten a reminder of how I rejected her that one summer. I tried to give her a smile back as I thought about if anything thing would have changed if I was thrown into that type of situation again. Wasn't I suppose to be remembering shit about Finn or something?

This would be a lot easier to think about if Santana would stop looking at me like how she was looking at me. That exact look that she's using right now. It's making me flustered and how can I think if I'm flustered?

"Could you like leave or something?" I asked trying to sound annoyed so that she wouldn't she how she was making me feel.

"Okay," she said in a surprised tone then repeated to herself in a softer voice. She stood up to leave, but I couldn't let her leave sad or anything so called for her to stop.

"You didn't do anything, it's just my head's hurting and I'm confused, but you're fine and it was really sweet that you took me here. I just need some alone time and uh," I babbled until I exhaled to try to calm myself, "You look pretty today."

She smiled and shook her head, "Thanks, Q. You just rest, I'll be back later to take you home. Kay?"

I nodded my head and sighed once she left. I couldn't figure out how I felt as I laid straighter in the bed, but what I did know was that the more I thought the less I could get comfortable.

"Quinn!" I heard a shrill voice almost scream making me jump and sit up in the bed. It was Rachel, now standing next to my side and I wonder how she snuck in without me noticing, "You worried us all so much. I hope you're feeling better."

"I was," I said under my breathe, "What do you want?"

"To see if you were feeling better," she said and I didn't believe her. She must have seen it on my face because she sighed and took a seat next to me, "Truth is, I saw Santana step out just now."

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering if she told you anything." Rachel looked down at her hands.

"Told me anything about what?" I asked, trying not to worry about her being nervous.

"Me and Finn. You and her. She and Brittany."

"She and Brittany?" I looked away. I already knew about Rachel and Finn since I'm practically reminded about it everyday and I think I've already remembered what I needed to remember about Santana and I, but Brittany and Santana?

"Yeah," Rachel continued catiously, "They dated. She told you, right?"

"No!" I said scandalized. She had to be lying cause that's just… It's just… It wasn't fair because… Ew? I don't… Should I be mad?

"I'm surprised she didn't tell you by now," Rachel commented through my thoughts, "Actually I'm not really surprised. She's probably too ashamed to tell you."

She stood up and bounced on her toes, "Look, Quinn. Like I said last time, you can come to me if you need any help remembering. It doesn't look like Santana is helping you much."

She turned and walked out of the nurse's office, probably proud of herself or something, and I slowly got out of bed. I stretched as best as I could before making a plan to get these girls to tell me these stupid secrets that I shouldn't be hearing from other people. I can't keep doing this anymore, I need the truth and I'm going to get it no matter what.

**There you have it! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This took longer than I hoped to get out here but life's crazy, you know. I shall now give you a warning about the tad bit of "mature" chiz up in this one. I also shall say that if I gots errors then just know that their all mine and I don't have enough money to buy Glee so...**

I lifted myself to my feet, trying not to get too dizzy which was harder than I had expected. My head was jarring, mind was racing, and my body felt exhausted but I needed to go out there. I needed to find Santana and sort shit out because this whole remembering by myself wasn't working for me. Plus it hurt.

I stomped my way out of the nurse's office only to bump straight into a passerby. I fell into the door and looked up to see a surprised Puck.

"Ah shit, baby mama! My bad," he said and I paused at his nickname for me.

Baby mama? That must've been some sort of inside joke between us. I don't like it.

I shook my head so that I could focus. I needed to find Santana and figure out stuff and I guess that was just going to have to be another thing to ask about.

I sighed, "It's okay, I was just going to look for Santana. Have you seen her?"

"She's at her locker, packing up or something," and with that I turned to the direction that I believed was towards her locker. I tried to figure out some questions to ask, but there was just too many. She wouldn't even know all of them I bet.

_I'll just start from the basics_, I told myself as I stopped behind a mob of people blocking the hallway. I considered just pushing straight through them but Puck, whom I didn't know was walking with me, places a hand on my back and lead me through the students.

"I can see that you're on a mission here," Puck said as we maneuvered through, "but can I ask you why you're not wearing any shoes?"

I looked down at my feet and yep, no shoes. No shoes nor socks and I'm walking through this filthy hallway. Someone must have took them off me while I was passed out and I forgot them in the nurse's office. I thought this whole memory loss problem was long term not short.

By the time I looked up, we had arrived at Santana's locker and she was looking down at my feet perplexed.

She looked back up, same look instilled on her face, "I thought you were resting."

"I was, but I had to ask you something," then I paused. I was having a blank. What was I going to ask her? There was something important, I just couldn't place it. I looked to my side to the guy with the weird mohawk-

Puck! His name's Puck. Did I just forget his name?

I looked over their shoulders to somehow get a grip and I spot Rachel talking intensely to a familiar looking guy. I couldn't figure out who he was but I've seen him before I'm sure.

"I don't think you should walking around with no shoes," Santana said gathering back my attention. She took off her own shoes till she was just in her socks and hands them over to me.

I shook my head at her first but eventually took them with a soft smile. Once I slipped them onto my feet I began to remember why I came over. To ask her questions and stuff. Why did I forget that?

Before I could ask anything, Dave slid next to Puck and I almost snarled as he smiled at all of us.

"Hey guys," he scratched his head, "Could I talk to Quinn real quick?"

"No." I answered for them. I don't want to even look at him. He makes me so mad and I've yet to figure out why so, "Fuck off, Karofsky."

Santana and Puck furrowed their brows at me, probably confused on my hostility towards the boy but I don't like him and that's that.

"I really need to talk to you, though," he said, smile already gone.

"And I really don't want to talk to you," I said back without missing a beat.

Dave sighed and folded his arms, "It's about my last party,"

"I don't care."

"The party you were at, Quinn," he said with more force and he was trying to give my hints. He must have been talking about knowing more information about my death. Dammit, now I have to talk to him.

"Fine," I give the other two a smile, then follow Dave until we are ear distant from the other two. I folded my arms, "What is it?"

"I heard that you're remembering things," he said without looking at me.

"From who?"

"From Finn."

"Yeah, so?" I shrugged.

He scratched his head again, "I was wondering if you remember, like, the night you died or something."

I squinted my eyes at him until he looked at me, "And if I did?"

"I just want to know if you did, okay?" He snapped. He looked away then back at me and if I'm not wrong he looked worried. His face looked tired and eyes jumpy. He probably hadn't gotten sleep in awhile.

I rolled my eyes once I realized that I didn't care, "I don't. Feel better?"

"Good," he exhaled, "Yeah, that's good."

"Why is that good? And the only reason I came over here was to hear what you know, not to rest your fears on whether I remembered that you murdered me or not."

He finally looked me in the eyes, "I didn't murder you."

"Whatever," I turned to walk back to Santana's locker but was stopped by him grabbing my wrist hard enough for it to bruise. I jerked my arm, but he had it tight and squeezed it harder every time I tried to rip from his grasp, "Let me go."

"I want you to get this through your thick fucking skull," he hissed through his teeth with a menacing whisper, "Neither me nor Finn even hit you that night so stop accusing us of murder."

"Get your hands off me," I commanded, "or I will end you."

"I'd like to see you try," he carefully said and I immediately sized him up. He was much bigger than me, but with the hate for him radiating off my skin I'm sure I could get a few hits in.

Suddenly his fingers were torn from off my wrist and his arm was brought violently backwards until he leaned forward with pain. Behind him was Santana, one hand keeping his arm uncomfortably upwards and the other on his back holding him there. I raised an eyebrow at how pissed but beautiful she looked.

Puck appeared next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, "Shit, Quinn, did he hurt you?"

I shook my head and rubbed my wrist as I looked back to Santana who was yelling profanities at Dave in both English and Spanish, "Shouldn't you be helping?"

"Does it look like she needs help?" Pucks joked.

"Don't you ever touch Quinn again," Santana barked at Dave as he whimpered underneath her, "You got it, Karofsky?!"

"Yes! Yes, I'm sorry!" He yelped then fell on his face when she let him go. He stumbled to his feet and scurried off as Santana put her hands on her hips in pride.

She turned to me and put out her hand, "I would like to take you home now."

I nodded my head and took her hand before she lead me down the hallway as the crowd of kids split in half for us. Before we made it far, behind us, Puckerman yelled, "No more fights, you two!"

Once in the car, I took a calming breath as Santana put her key into the ignition.

"What's up with you and Dave?" She asked turning on her car.

"I don't like secrets, Santana," I said as I went back to my first mission. She looked at me with confusion so I continued, "And when I don't remember things it feels like everything's a big secret. I just need to know some stuff that you know, okay?"

"Sure, Q." She said a little unsure.

"How long were you and Brittany dating?" I cursed at myself for not thinking of a more important question.

She looked surprised and she opened and closed her mouth a bunch of times before talking, "Who told you?"

"Doesn't matter. How long?"

She looked away, "Quinn..."

I sighed. She wasn't going to just open up to me, so I needed another approach, "Let's just have a honesty hour. Better yet, all I need is like twenty minutes. Full honesty, no judgement. Then when it's over, it's over. Kay?"

She swallowed, "Sure."

"Great. How long?"

"Junior year."

"And you started?"

"Junior year."

"Okay," I was still surprised that they had even dated. That must have been weird.

"You're not mad are you?" She asked.

"No, why would I be?"

"I don't know. You were last time," she said sadly.

I wasn't mad, if anything I felt jealous, "Second question-"

"There's more?" She whined.

"Second question," I continued, "Finn's cheating on me with Rachel?"

Santana shrugged and leaned all the way back into her chair, "Not that I know of. I always make jokes about it, but I don't think they've actually done anything other than stare at each other from across the room. I honestly don't think Rachel would do that to you."

From what people have been telling me, apparently I've always been a total bitch to Rachel. Yet she hasn't taken the chance to take Finn away from me. She's one strange girl.

"Go ahead and ask," Santana said as she closed her eyes, "I'm ready."

"Ask what?"

She looked back to me, "You know what. Just ask."

I bit my lip as I thought aloud, "Am I having a secret affair with that guy Sam?"

"What? No," she huffed, "Ask me what you were going to ask me."

Those were all the questions that I could think of and this time it wasn't because of a blank. I had just lost my train of thought, "That was it."

"Don't be like that, Quinn," she folded her arms, "You don't have to beat around the fucking bush. Just ask me."

Maybe I was having memory loss again. I bit my lip to help me think, "That's literally all the questions."

"You're gonna make me say it aren't you?" When I didn't respond, she scooted to face me as best as she could in her seat, "Us. Ask me about us."

I creased my brows, "What about us?"

She gave me a pained look, "How we... You know. And when we stopped. And why we stopped and stuff."

"What?" I smiled. What the heck was she talking about? When we what? Became friends? That couldn't be a real reason to get all worked up about. It wasn't like we were… We hadn't… Were we…

"Oh," I said as I leaned away from her. I was sleeping around with her. Okay, wow, that's gonna take some processing.

"Now that I've said it, just ask the questions," Santana said nervously.

I turned my eyes the dashboard of the car. Me and Santana? I can't even imagine it.

That's a lie. I can totally imagine it. I'm imagining it right now. I kept my eyes in front of me as my cheeks started to burn at what was way more like a memory then something I could have imagined.

"Seriously, Quinn, just ask me the fucking questions already," she said and I could tell that she was starting to get pissed off, but I couldn't talk. I was in some kind of shock.

"Just say something," she pleaded this time and I took the chance to look at her. I had to say something, she was practically begging for me to talk to her. Besides, I started this. I couldn't leave her hanging.

I hesitated before asking, "Was I any good?"

Her eyes fluttered in surprise and holy hell what did I just ask her?!

She stared at me in silence and I was silently smacking myself in the head. Sure, I wanted to know, but I should have asked when it started or if it ruined our friendship or if we were in love. Gosh, if we were in love... Even asking if it was just fooling around would have been a good question. There's a time and place for everything and asking her about how well I was in bed seemed inappropriate to say the least.

I was beginning to say my apologies but she interrupted, "Yeah. You were."

I smiled but then frowned because I shouldn't feel good about that. It's against the rules to sleep with your best friends, I think.

"I think we should stop with the honesty. That should be enough for now. Thank you," I said formally. I didn't think I was ready for anymore. Hell, I see now that I wasn't ready in the first place.

"Is there anything else you want to know?" She asked softly.

I shrugged. I had ton to ask but didn't know how to put the questions.

"Cool," she sat back into her seat, "Good. So we're done?"

"Unless you have some kind of big gigantic secret you want to tell me."

"I honestly didn't want to tell you anything," she said grumpily.

"Then you shouldn't have agreed on the honesty thing."

"Like you would have let me get out of that," she scoffed.

"Sorry it was such a chore to remind me of a few things that I didn't remember," I was starting to agitated and I could tell she was, too.

"You could have done this with anybody. Why me?" She questioned.

"Maybe I trust you the most," I snapped as I realized that we were slipping into an argument.

"Wow. It took you to lose your memory to trust me? What a treat!"

"Don't bring up my old self in a argument, Santana!"

"Why? Are you worried that I'll spill some kind of big shitty secret about yourself?!"

"Why would I be worried about that? That's what I want!"

"No you don't!"

"Why not?!"

"Cause it's better if you don't remember, Quinn! We'll all be happier that way!"

"I won't be happier that way," I said in a shaky voice. I blew out some air before asking, "What are you so upset about?"

"I'm not upset!" She growled and looked in front of her.

"Could have fooled me," I placed my hand on her thigh, making her flinch, but kept it there, "Why are you so mad?"

"I'm not mad!" She yelled.

"Then what the fuck's wrong?!" I yelled just as loud.

She looked at me and stayed quiet. Her eyes were giving me a look that I couldn't read. I've seen it before, but I couldn't figure it out. Then she leaned in and I closed my eyes just in time with her lips making contact with mine.

I felt myself freeze as she brought her hand to the back of my neck to keep me from pulling away. Only a millisecond passed before she moved her lips against mine and I shivered. My memory didn't do me justice. I didn't remember her lips being so soft or the expert way her lips moved. I remembered how it warmed my stomach, but not how the little kiss made the warmth pass lower and making me clench my legs together.

She didn't let me fully enjoy the kiss before she pulled away, her face still so close to mine.

"I'm sorry," she breathed against my lips. I could barely hear her over the ringing in my ears, but I swear she said, "I didn't mean to. I just couldn't hold it in anymore."

I couldn't either as my body involuntarily leaned back into her, connecting our lips again. This time I kissed her back and we moved as close as we could get in the car. Her hands grabbed at my clothes and I combed mine through her hair. I pushed her back against the car door as I crawled on top of her in not the most comfortable fashion.

It didn't matter though as I straddled her lap and thanked whatever force that made me put on a dress today and she on her Cheerios uniform. The heat from our bare thighs touching made us both gasp, but we never pulled away from the kiss.

I started to kiss down her jaw as one of her hands rubbed my thigh and the other was still bunched up in my dress.

I laid my hands behind her on the door as I sucked on what I thought was her pulse point as my cheeks began to get warm at the soft noises she was making.

"Oh, Quinn," she moaned and I became unsteady at the tone of her voice.

I continued further down until I got to her collarbone and heard her moan again when I rested one of my hands on her hip, "Oh, fuck, Quinn stop."

I almost continued until I realized she had just told me to stop. I backed up a bit and looked at her face, which was just as flushed as I felt mine was, "Stop?"

"Yeah. Stop," she panted and swallowed hard, "We can't do this again. Not while you're still with him."

I furrowed my brows. Him? Was she talking about Finn? He didn't even cross my mind. If that was the biggest problem here then it could be easily fixed. We don't have to stop now just because of him.

"I'll leave him," I negotiated,"Just tell me to do it and I'll break up with him."

She looked away and sighed, "You know why I can't do that."

"No. I actually don't," I lifted myself off her and sat back into the passenger seat. I put my seatbelt on in a attempt to control myself from attacking her again. I didn't know what we were about to do, but I didn't want it to stop.

Santana readjusted herself in her seat and clicked seatbelt like I did, "Are you coming over or-"

"Drop me off at my house," I said quickly. I needed sometime to process the both enormous and little information that she's given me today.

"You don't have to-"

"Drop me off at my house," I repeated.

"Okay," she said as she put the car into drive and drove us out of the school's parking lot.

**Ew, kissing. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this one! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi, everyone. I feel like this one took longer to get out. Well, longer than I wanted it to. I just wanted to get this chapter out today cause I like you all and its still Valentines Day here so yeah.**

**If there's any mistakes they're all mine. Oh, and some mature *wink wink* stuff is coming up. And there's quite a bit of flashbacks. Lastly, I do not own glee and its killing me.**

To say that the last two days at school had been awkward would have been an understatement. I was slinking around the school trying to avoid Santana and anything that involved her. It wasn't because I didn't want to talk to her, I did. I really did. It was because I knew that she didn't want to talk to me.

How could I possibly know that she didn't want to talk to me, right? Because of how everything went down; she kissed me, I kissed her back, she rejected me, then I rejected her back. And if I knew Santana, and I hope I still do, then she needed space to decide whether or not the kiss was a mistake or not. Which, I'll give her all the space she needs.

I hope by space she didn't mean not seeing each other in total. We still go to the same school and have the same classes. Just because I shouldn't talk to her didn't mean I couldn't stare at her during class periods or when we'd pass each other in the hall. I actually don't like to call it staring. It's more like silently begging her to think things through faster. It's also like silently getting the courage to go talk to her myself.

She noticed it, too, I think. The way she turned her eyes to me when she thought I wasn't paying attention then snapped them back to the teacher almost a second later.

Once, when we were in class she, only a couple desks diagonal to me, had fully faced me. It was during a lecture, not a boring one since our teacher decided to be in a joking mood that day and cracked a few jokes here and there. Santana was on her phone, but I could tell that she was fully attentive from the way the corners of her mouth would move upwards every time a punchline rolled in.

I, however, wasn't paying attention as I tried to figure out the beat she was tapping her finger to. Once I realized what song it was, she turned to face me and I immediately flinched. It felt much longer than two days since she's looked me in the face and the way it made me feel frazzled me.

She looked at me expectedly and I scanned around the room to see that she wasn't the only one who was looking at me. So was the whole class.

"Quinn?" Our teacher asked and I sat up fully at my desk.

"Pardon?" I asked with a politeness that I didn't know I had.

"I was asking if you could relate with me on zoning out in important classes but I can see that the answer is quite clear," the class laughed and turned the attention back to him, "Anyways, so it was 1983 , I was in college, and we were going to steal the monkey from the zoo-"

I looked back at Santana and she had yet to turn back. She gave me a look before turning around and I sighed before sinking into my chair. I really needed to talk to her.

I was being melodramatic. It's only been two days. It's not like we didn't see each other, we just hadn't talked. The Old Quinn didn't talk to Santana for months at times and here I am crying over the fact that I hadn't slept over her house in a couple of days. The least I could do was deal.

So as I stared... looked on from a distance, I also read. The first day of spending the night at my own house was hard and I couldn't get to sleep so I went through my stuff and found a bunch of journals. I brought them and read them about anywhere so that I could get a taste of who I was before I lost my memory.

Through the three journals that I've read so far, starting from eighth grade, I've learned that I'm... Complicated.

There was some journal entries that made me think that I was manipulating everyone in my life like,

_December 18,_

_ Dear Journal, _

_ There are seven days and four hours until Christmas and I am more than prepared to receive the neckless that daddy bought me last week. As you remember, I had snuck into his den and found his secret stash of presents that included the neckless I had asked for last month. I also found the bracket mom asked for that one time daddy blatantly told her that she didn't deserve it. I stashed it away so that, maybe, this time she'll get fed up and leave him. I doubt it. _

_ Also, Finn's getting me something. I told him not to, but he'd be an idiot if he didn't. Plus, I hinted that I'd break up with him if he didn't get me anything. He's so easy, like I'd break up with him this early. He just became quarterback._

Then there was some that scared me. Like completely scared me of what I use to do to people,

_March 1,_

_ Dear Journal,_

_ It's almost the end of the school year. I can't deal with this. Rachel fricking Berry? Thinking she could even look at Finn? I swear to God, if she even breathes his way I will make her life a living hell. I will ridicule her everyday of her miserable life about her hideous face or her hideous voice until she gives up and goes home to cry to her dads about getting her named changed or at least a nose job. Then I'll go to her home and tell her dads about how much of a slutbag she is. She doesn't know me. I will make her life a living hell!_

Jesus.

Then there was some that I could tell took some time to right and actually had feelings that weren't angry or pissed. There was some that made me feel something in the pit of my gut, like my body remembered that I had wrote those things even if my brain didn't,

_February 15,_

_ Dear Journal,_

_ She said something today. Santana did. I can't write it. I can barely think about it. _

_ She's so brave. I wish I was like her. But she's so dumb. Why would she do that me? To Brittany? To herself? _

_ So, now she's gone. For good. No coming back, that's it. I did it. She finally left me alone. Not really though, my pillow still smells like her. And I'll see her at school tomorrow. So she'll never really leave me alone. Not if she keeps reminding me that she's there. _

_ I can't believe its over. It didn't have to be. Yes it did. She's so dumb._

When I read that, I was in the school sitting on a bench. I slammed the journal closed and sucked in my lip as it began to quiver. I didn't remember what I was writing about, but it hit me hard and there I was, experiencing nothing but the emotions I had experienced that very day. I wanted to get up and run to wherever Santana was and hug her and tell her that I was sorry for anything and everything.

Then a stronger part made me wait for the end bell to ring before packing up my stuff and going back to my house. The first feeling almost came back as I walked straight to Santana's house like I've been doing for the past two days, but I shrugged it off as I crossed the street to the house that claimed to be my own.

I laid face down on my bed with a huff. I've been sleeping in this room for a couple days now and her bed was just more comfortable.

I turned over and sighed. If I ever wanted to get a full nights rest I needed to get over myself and go talk to Santana. The past was the past. I'd break up with Finn in an instant if that meant I'd get to kiss her again. I meant see her again. Kissing would be fine, too.

A knock at the door barely takes me out of my thoughts as a voice sings, "Quinnie! Are you alive in there?"

"No," I said back.

The voice laughed and the door opened so that the head of my mother could peak into the room, "Guess what I got you."

"My memory back?"

She laughed once again, "You've turned into a little comedian haven't you, Quinnie."

I rolled my eyes as she entered my room and threw a hanger with a plastic bag attached to it on my bed. I sat up and examined it.

"I've noticed that you haven't been wearing your cheerleading uniform these past couple of days," she said with a smile, "So I had it dry cleaned."

I looked up at her and gave her a soft smile, "Thanks, Judy."

She cocked an eyebrow, "Judy? You've never called me that before."

"I meant mom. Thanks, mom," I recovered quickly keeping my smile intact.

She looked at me for awhile before laughing. She turned away without another word and I swear she was high or something.

Once she closed the door I looked back at the bag and reached my hand inside. I pulled the red skirt out and rubbed the soft fabric. It reminded me of Santana.

I sighed at myself. I wasn't about to obsess over her just cause we kissed once. Though it was an amazing kiss.

I gasped as my head suddenly began to throb. There was no warning this time, just pain. I wasn't even trying to remember anything this time-

"Fuck!" I screamed as it pounded harder. I shoved the skirt back into the bag and threw it off the bed like it was the cause. Maybe if I stop thinking about the uniform then it'll stop.

The pain moved from my head to my back and I launched myself onto the pillows. I grabbed the covers underneath me and shut my eyes as I was pushed roughly out of consciousness.

_ I opened my eyes and I was leaning against a locker in the locker room after Cheerio practice._

_ I was beat. It had been an exhausting practice and I was surprised that I was still standing upright. I watched the last few girls walk out and yanked my hair out of my pony tail. I looked over to my left and got a full view of Santana bending over as she reached into her gym bag. The skirt hung over her perfectly rounded ass and showed off her toned thighs underneath it. _

_ God bless the pervert whomever created these things._

_ Santana stood up and turned to me with a smirk on her face, "Why the tables have turned."_

_ "I was just admiring your skirt," I lied. _

_ "We're wearing the same skirt, Fabray," Santana laughed. _

_ I looked down at my skirt then back to her with a shrug, "I like them, though."_

_ Santana rolled her eyes and sat on the bench in front of me, "Did Finn ask you to the dance yet?"_

_ I shook my head and turned to open the locker behind me, "Not yet. He must think that I'm automatically going with him just cause we're dating."_

_ "That would be my first thought."_

_ "Is it wrong that I want to be asked out every now and again?" I grabbed my bag out of the locker and turned to her, "Besides, I don't even want to go."_

_ "How come?" _

_ I shrugged again, "I don't feel like it."_

_ "That's exactly what I told Brittany," Santana commented, "but she asked me what my real reason was and why I felt like hiding it from her. I swear she's been hanging out with Berry too much."_

_ I turned away and gave a fake laugh. I hated when Santana would bring up Brittany into our conversations. Don't get me wrong, I loved the blonde more than my own mother, but every time she brought her up I was reminded that they were dating and it never sat right with me, "I think we're all hanging out with Rachel too much."_

_ "You're telling me," Santana groaned,"Do you think Finn'll ask Rachel to the dance if you don't go?"_

_ "Psh, no way." He'd better not. _

_ "I don't like Finn that much," Santana said randomly._

_ I turned back and placed my bag next her on the bench, "Why? He's not that bad."_

_ "Everyone says that, but yet to prove anything to me."_

_ I unzipped my bag and shifted the stuff inside of it, "I'm not going to stand here and defend him, since that's not usually what I do but I will tell you that he's a nice guy."_

_ "Whatever," Santana looked at her nails. _

_ "Technically it doesn't even matter," I zipped my bag up, "We're not going to be together for that long."_

_ "What do you mean?"_

_ "High school relationships don't last past high school, Santana," I said matter of factly. _

_ She looked up from her nails and gave me a look, "That's gotta be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard you say, Blondie."_

_ "Just cause you think you and Brittany are gonna be together forever doesn't mean you will," I chastised. I looked over to her and smiled at her frowning face. It was almost romantic how she thought they'd last, "Get real, Santana."_

_ "You'll see. Brittany and I'll last till college."_

_ "Please," I rolled my eyes this time. _

_ "Nope, I'll prove it to you," Santana perked up from her seat. _

_ "How?" I squinted at her. _

_ "I'll just never break up with her," She shrugged, "Then you'll see."_

_ "And what if she breaks up with you?" I raised an eyebrow. _

_ "She'd never break up with me but if she did then you'd be right and I'd be wrong," Santana smirked, "but you'll be wrong."_

_ "Okay, so I'm assuming that this is a bet," she nodded her head to me, "Then we'll see who's wrong, Santana."_

_ "Gladly," she smiled brightly. _

_ "But you know your gonna lose," I said as I picked up my bag and hung it over my shoulder, "You could never be faithful to one person."_

_ "Uh, fuck you, Fabray. Of course I can be faithful," she said defensively, "Besides, who would I cheat on Britt with? This school's a sausage fest of losers and disappointments."_

_ "There's other girls at this school, San."_

_ "Right. Like name one."_

_ I furrowed my brows and looked around. It wasn't like we were in the locker room of the hottest cheerleading squad in the tristate or anything. Was she really that blind?_

_ Then I looked at her as an idea popped into my head. I knew how to open her eyes to whats around her and win the bet at the same time. _

_ I dropped my bag and leaned over till I had to use my hand to hold me up as I placed it next to her bare leg. _

_ I gave her my best smirk, "Me."_

_ "Wow, okay," she scoffed and moved to get up. I stopped her by putting my other hand on her thigh and making me lean further closer to her. _

_ "What? Am I not pretty enough for Sanny?" I mocked. _

_ "What a shitty move, Fabray. You really don't think you're going to win so you have to cheat," she said harshly. _

_ "We never stated rules," I almost lost my smirk as I leaned closer but tried harder not to look fazed, "Besides, this isn't cheating. This is trying to prove a point."_

_ "And the point being?"_

_ "That putting a piece of meat in front of some animals is just enough to leer them away from their owners."_

_ She almost looked offended before looking down at my lips then back up to my eyes, "How far do you plan on going just to prove a point, Quinn?"_

_ I evaluated the situation the best I could. How bad did I want to win this bet? Enough to be so close to Santana that I could feel her breath on my lips. I don't think I was thinking this though._

_ So I answered honestly, "I don't know."_

_ I must have not been paying attention because her lips were on mine in an instant. Stunning me like the first time we ever kissed and making me gasp into it. _

_ It wasn't our second kiss, or even our third. We had kissed at parties during truth or dares or other embarrassing games, but it was never with much feeling as the first one. They weren't like this one either. _

_ No, I saw what she was trying to do. If she put feeling into it, I was more likely to push away first and it would set back my plans. I couldn't do that. This was a sure fire way to win and I couldn't let go of that so easily. _

_ I snapped out of my shockness and slipped my hand to the back of her neck, pushing her mouth closer to mine. She reacted quickly and grabbed at my waist and pulled me onto her lap. Before I knew it, I was straddling her as I tried to hold in a moan from feeling her thighs under mine. Her hands found the back of my thighs and moved up until she firmly cupped my ass. I gasped at the feeling and she took that opportunity to probe my mouth with her tongue. I tried to calm her tongue from exploring too much with my own, but she knew what she was doing and I hated French kissing Finn so I had no way of winning this. _

_ I needed some way to control the situation so I did what I would do if she was a guy; I ground my hips into her's. She moaned lightly and I smiled into the kiss as I moved my hips against her enlisting moans and groans from between her lips. They were getting louder and I was getting dizzy from the erotic sounds of it. _

_ She moved suddenly until my back hit the lockers and we slid to the ground, my legs still wrapped around her torso. I swear that should have hurt but it felt more pleasurable than painful. _

_ With my back against the lockers and her weight against me, her hands began to roam. One palm full of my breast was enough for me to break the kiss and pant against the side of her head. She never stopped kissing though as her lips moved from my cheek to my jaw to the side of my neck. Her teeth nipped and I gasped then she squeezed and I moaned. I lifted my hands to her hair, almost ripping out her pony tail since I had no idea where to place them. _

_ Her other hand moved lower, to lay on my stomach, then to lay on my upper thigh under my skirt. I barely noticed that she moved, but once I did I had also noticed that she had removed my underwear. We were actually going to do this. _

_ Before I could say anything her hand touched me in my most intimate of places. She pulled away to look at me and gave me a smile as I shakily intook air as her fingers moved slowly. _

_ "Shit, Quinn, I've been meaning to do this for awhile," she whispered and I didn't think I've ever heard her voice that sexy before. I also couldn't believe that she could talk so freely when I couldn't even make a sound right now. _

_ I gave a little laugh, "Y-You've always been such a perv, San."_

_ She laughed a bit, too, then moved her fingers upward catching my hips with her other hand as they tried to move with them. It felt like I could feel every movement of each finger, the pointer and middle moving side to side, left and right and the ring moving slightly with them. God, it felt so good. _

_ I bit my lip to keep the moans in as best as I could, but once Santana hit a certain spot I let one slip out, "Oh, wow."_

_ "Oh wow indeed," she said catching my attention and there was no way I was just going to let her do this to me. I reached over and pulled her by the back of her neck into another kiss. It was the best I could do, seeing as though there was fingers in places where they originally shouldn't have been. _

_ I slipped my hand in the middle of us and into her panties where I gave her the sane treatment, but only faster so that she could catch up. _

_ She moaned and bucked into my hand, "Fuck, Q."_

_ I shivered at her language and yelped once I felt one of her fingers push into me. I widened my eyes and let my head hit the lockers before remembering that Santana was on my hand and pushing one of my own fingers into her as well. _

_ My eyes watered at the sound she made and the feeling of both being filled up and me filling her up. _

_ "Oh my God, Santana!" I exclaimed when she began to move the finger in and out of me, first slowly then pumped one then two at a time at a fast speed._

_ I copied her and her head fell onto my shoulder as we pumped at equal speeds, both fast and satisfying. It wasn't long before I started to shake and the pit of my stomach stiffed. I had felt this before but never went much farther than this. I never knew that there was more, but here was Santana bringing me over the edge and by the way she was shaking and moving frantically on top of me, I must have been bringing her there also. _

_ Then I came and my body felt like I was out of control and I needed something to hold on to so that I wouldn't fly away as I screamed to the top of my lungs the name of the first person who ever made me feel that way. I squeezed tightly to Santana on top of me who came silently and arched her back, shook against me, bit my shoulder, and made me moan as she squeezed my fingers tightly inside of her._

_ Our bodies soon came back from the high and laid motionless against each other for what it seemed like hours. _

_ Finally she moved off of me and sat against the lockers next to me. _

_ "Fuck," she exhaled as I sat up straight against the now hard lockers behind me. _

_ I rubbed my face as the realizations of us fucking in the locker room came into my mind, "We messed up."_

_ "You don't say, Sherlock," she snapped and I turned to glare at her but stopped to see her eyes watery and looking down at the floor. _

_ I sighed, "I'm sorry, S. I didn't mean for that to happen."_

_ "Then what did you mean to happen?" Her voice was crackly and if we didn't just sleep together I would have been tested to go comfort her. _

_ "Don't blame this on me," I patted down my skirt, "Sex is a two man game."_

_ "Fuck," Santana said again as she let her head fall against the lockers, "What am I going to tell Britt?"_

_ "We don't have to tell anyone anything," she looked at me and she silently agreed. I rolled my shoulders and folded my legs, "Could I ask you something?"_

_ "I'd rather you didn't," Santana grumbled. _

_ I picked at my skirt and swallowed hard, "Isn't your first time suppose to hurt?"_

_ She snapped her head to me, "What do you mean? Why? This wasn't your..."_

_ I turned away in embarrassment. _

_ "Oh, fuck Quinn, no," she whined, "Please don't say that I was your first."_

_ "Then I won't," I shrugged. _

_ "I'm the most horrible person ever," Santana cried, "Not only do I cheat on Britt but I also take my best friend's virginty. I suck."_

_ I stood up and looked around for my underwear as I tried to avoid Santana's eyes, "It's not that big of a deal, Santana."_

_ "What do you mean it's not that big of a deal?" She stood up, "I stole your virginity in a fucking locker room, Quinn."_

_ "Sex is a two man game," I reminded her. I finally chanced a look at her as she handed over the offending garment. I took it from her and gave a weak smile, "Look, Santana, this is just between me and you. We don't have to tell anybody, not even Britt. Besides it didn't mean anything so no one's getting hurt here."_

_ "And the whole virginty thing," I continued, "I'm just glad that I didn't lose it to someone I didn't care about. So it's okay. Okay?"_

_ She studied me for a moment before giving a small nod, "Okay."_

_ "Okay, pack up. I'm driving today so there's no coming back if you forget something," I smiled and she mirrored it back before walking over to her bag. _

_ I turned to my bag on the bench and threw my underwear into one of the side pockets. This was not okay. This was totally not okay. _

I blinked my eyes open as a loud knock rattled me conscious. I scanned around to see that I was back in my room and it was brighter than it was before.

"Quinnie," another knock punctuated the call and I turned my head to see my mother once again peaking her head through the door, "I wanted to see if you were ready for school."

I groaned and turned away. I literally just got back from school. Plus I couldn't go now with my body feeling buzzed from the memory of Santana and I having hot sex in the girl's locker room.

I closed my eyes and my cheeks became warm as I tried to understand why I worded it in that way in my own head.

"It looks like you're already ready though," my mother said a little too cheery, "Can I take you to school today? You look just too adorable."

What does she mean adorable? I had on what I had on yesterday. I opened my eyes and jumped into a sitting position once I realized that I was now wearing the cheerleading uniform that I had thrown on the floor earlier.

That's so creepy, did I put it on while I was unconscious? I rubbed the skirt with my thumb only to jerk it away when it reminded me of Santana, "I'm not wearing this."

My mother tilted her head, "Why not?"

"I just can't," I crawled off the bed and tried to stand on my feet that shook and crumbled until I sat back on the bed. I looked down at my legs and wondered how long I've been out for.

"I don't see what the problem is," my mother commented, "It's just your Cheerios uniform. Your still on the team, right?"

"I don't know," I grumbled, "Can you just give me five minutes so I can change."

Her face contorted and she quickly sat next to me, "I think you should wear your uniform to school."

I turned to look at her and her cheery mood had changed into something intense, "Why?"

"Your father," she folded her legs, "likes that your on the Cheerios. If he gets a hint that maybe your not..."

I rolled my eyes. I hadn't even seen him yet, so I'm half sure that the man doesn't even exist, "It's just an outfit, Judy, no one's going to mind if I wear it or not."

"And don't call me Judy. It's mother or when you were younger you called me a simple mom," she stood up and straightened her dress, "I will give you two minutes to freshen up but I want you downstairs in that uniform or you won't be able to go over Santana's house for an entire week."

I furrowed my brows at her. She knew that was an empty threat, especially since I hadn't gone over Santana's house in a couple of days. I had to respect her though, she was putting her foot down and the least I could do was listen to her.

I sighed, "Fine."

"Good," she smiled and walked to the door before turning back to me, "Two minutes, Quinn."

I nodded my head as she left and wondered if she always took charge like that.

**There we are. Hope you enjoyed it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Well, hello. This chapter here was written for you (and for me). So here you are. All mistakes are mine, and if I owned Glee then I wouldn't have broken up the Pezberry Brotp. That was just rude.**

My mother drove up to the school and smiled at me, "Maybe after school we can go shopping for your father's birthday gift?"

I set my hand on the door hand and tapped my thumb against it, "Yeah, maybe."

She stayed quiet for a few moments before almost whispering, "I know that you're going through a few things and I just want you to know that I'm here to talk."

"Sure, okay. See you later," I hopped out of the car and closed the door behind me.

As I made it through the school, I took the extra effort into making myself look indifferent. My head was still achy and I felt weird all over, but the last thing I needed would be for someone to come up to me and ask what's wrong. What would I even say?

I walked over to the locker that was supposedly mine and silently cursed the school. I was starting to hate school. It really sucked. I opened my locker and actually looked at the contents inside. Books, books, and pictures. I picked up one of the pictures from the side of the locker door and inspected it. It was of a young blonde haired girl, who sort of looked like me, but it wasn't.

"Baby mama!" I heard someone scream beside me and I rolled my eyes at whatever unfortunate had to deal with that mess.

My locker shut by itself and I looked up confused to find Puck with his hand on it.

"I was calling you, didn't you hear?" He said to me and I look around in case he was actually talking to someone else. I rolled my eyes once I remembered that he calls me baby mama. How lucky of me.

He looked down at the picture in my hands and gave me a sad smile, "Why are you looking at a picture Beth? Do you miss her? I can ask Shelby if she'll bring her back to Lima some time and we could go visit her for a weekend maybe."

Who's Beth? Who's Shelby? What was he talking about?

"If I didn't know better, it would seem like you didn't know your own daughter," he gave out a large laugh.

"Holy shit," I thought aloud. I was pregnant. And the girl in the photo came out of me. And I gave her up. We gave her up, Puck and I. He got me pregnant. Holy shit.

"Did you just cuss?" Puck asked before I turned away and began walking down the hallway. Puck followed behind as I tried to remember having a baby.

I do remember how it happened though. I cheated on Finn. Again. Jesus, did I cheat on Finn with everybody?

"Slow down, Quinn," Puck said as a group of people blocked his way, "What's the rush?"

I quickly pushed a freshman boy out of my way immediately feeling bad about it, but by the time I turned to apologize he was already gone. I instead just huffed and continued on my path.

I placed a cool hand against my head and it began to hurt again as my mind began to race. I bet if I was as clean as my parents would have wanted me to be then it probably would have been harder to bring me back to life using voodoo. Its funny how I can barely remember my parents, but I can sure remember their values and their sayings like, "If you want to be saved, Lucy, you got to pray the sin away."

"That's a great fucking idea!" I screamed aloud. I looked around and spotted a classroom labeled "God Squad Meets Here." I headed straight for it, bumping and pushing people out of the way. It didn't matter, I was going to pray for forgiveness anyways.

I burst through the doors, not paying any mind to the others in the room and looked around. I spotted a crucifix laying on the heater in the corner and slid my way in front of it. I got on my knees and put my hands together from what I remembered doing as a child. If this didn't work, nothing will.

I closed my eyes then opened them, feeling as though something was off. I glanced down at the crucifix and noticed that it was crooked. I honestly wanted to be fine with it, but in the back of my brain I just couldn't do a prayer in front a crooked Jesus. That couldn't be right. So I picked up the crucifix and-

"Holy mother fucker!" I screamed to the top of my lungs as I shook my hand free of the crucifix. It burned straight into my hand. I wanted to pray to it and it burned me.

I laid down on the floor and held my hand above me as I watched a burn shaped cross form into my hand and a tear ran out of my eye.

_I'm done for. I've obviously lost my soul to the devil._

A towel wrapped around my hand and Brittany suddenly came into my view. I tried to stop her from touching me, but she helped me up into a sitting position and wrapped my hand completely.

"Don't help me," I said through me sniffles, "God has turned his back on me."

Brittany shook her head and a small smile formed on her face, "The heater was full blast, you know."

I squinted my eyes and looked down at the cross on the floor. The crucifix was made of metal which means its reaction to heat was-

"I'm so dumb," I laughed as I shook my head.

"You're not dumb," Brittany laughed, "You're alot of things, but not dumb."

"Like a home wrecker?" I said immediately before looking at the ground.

Brittany took a deep breathe and moved to sit on the floor next to me, "So you remember?"

"Yeah, a little," I rubbed at my hand, "No wonder you hate me, I hurt you."

"I don't hate you."

"You should," I crossed my legs looked around at anything that wasn't her.

"I should, but I don't," she patted my knee, "You and Santana having sex didn't bother me that much when I found out. Honestly I've never even had one of mahogany relationships with anyone, so I wasn't that much surprised."

I turned back to her, "You mean monogamy?"

"Is that what you call it?" Her eyes became distant only for a moment before she focused back on me, "Anyways, that's not the part that hurt. It was the part where you both had feelings for one another."

"Feelings," I repeated. I did have feelings for Santana, but they hadn't been correctly sorted at all to be considered what she's implying.

"But," Brittany continued, "I forgave you both along time ago. You can't help feelings. You can't help who you like."

She gave me a smile and I couldn't help but smile back. Brittany was amazing, I couldn't have asked for a better friend.

"One thing, though, could you next time try not to fall for the person I'm dating?" She joked. Well, I think she was joking.

I wiped my face from any other fallen tears, "I didn't necessarily _fall _for Santana."

"Yeah, sure," she stood up to her feet and put out her hand for me, "Let's go."

I gave her my non-wrapped up hand and stood up, "Where to? Class I hope."

"Nope, early glee practice," she said as she started walking us out of the door, "How's your hand."

I unwrapped the towel and flexed it, "All healed."

I followed her into the choir room and watched her skip over to sit next to Santana before picking a seat a few seats away.

"Okay everyone," Rachel said as she galloped to the front of the room, "I'm glad to see everyone is here. Including you, Quinn."

She gave me a smile and I rolled my eyes, "Anyways, after assigned us to sing songs about love, heaven knows why, I would like to show off something that I've been working on. And though, Kurt's rendition of I Gotta Be Me was magnifique, I would like to do something a bit different."

"That reminds me," Santana said, "No offense, but how can singing a song about being yourself be considered sticking to the assignment? Mr. Shue even made a big speech about how love was suppose to be, keyword, selfless."

"Wow, coming from a girl who can't love someone and herself at the same time," the Asian girl comments.

"Didn't just last week you said that you wouldn't take a chance at love unless money was involved?" Artie asked.

"I'm pretty sure that was me," a monotoned Brittany commented.

"It's weird just to hear Santana say selfless and love in the same sentence," Rachel sneered then looked at me, "Right, Quinn?"

Why does she keep talking to me? The group all looked at me, probably expecting me to say something against Santana also, except for the Latina herself whom kept her eyes up front and arms crossed.

"Honestly," I started out, "Santana asked a legitimate question. We should stop ganging up on her and try to explore why we're all too insecure to follow a simple assignment like singing a song about love."

It was quiet only for a minute before the teacher guy cleared his throat, "How out the song, Rachel."

"Yes, of course, Mr. Shue," she then looked at me and I furrowed my brows, "I'd first like to dedicate this song to Quinn. Not because, I'm in love with her or something because we're like sisters if anything. I'm dedicating this to her because I've noticed that she's seemed down and I hate to see her that way. Also, we're only as good as our weakest singer."

My jaw dropped. Did she just call my singing weak? I may not know what it sounds like, but hell if I'm going to let her insult me like that.

Santana must have picked up whatever I was thinking because she said, "Are you fucking serious?"

"Santana," the vest-maestro piped in, "Language."

"Sorry, , but she can't be serious. She's only doing this so that she can make herself feel better for almost cheering when Quinn went missing because Finn was almost officially single."

"What? No. Quinn." Rachel looked back to me and I just shook my head, more confused than ever. If she wanted Finn, she could have him. I didn't really see the scandal there. Nor did I care to see one.

"Please, guys can we just calm down," Vestman said, "Just sing Rachel."

She nodded her head and gave a cue to the randoms with the instruments. She looked back to me as the music began and gave me a smile, "This is for you, Quinn."

I looked away, more embarrassed then ever as the music began.

Rachel started to sing and I had to admit it, she had a great voice,

**"Some say love, it is a river that drown the tender reed.**

** Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed."**

I smiled at how cheesy the whole thing was, her singing to me about love. The heck could that be about?

**"Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need.**

** I say love, it is a flower, and you its only seed."**

I looked over to Santana and Brittany and watched them for a few moments. They seemed upset by the song, both looking somewhere else as she sung. I turned back to Rachel trying to decipher the words since they seemed to be effecting them so greatly.

"**It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.**

** It's the dream afraid of walking that never takes the chance."**

I felt something in my heart feel for the words, something my brain ached feel it too.

**"Its the one who wont be taken, who cannot seem to give,**

** And the soul afraid of dyin' that never learns to live."**

I squinted my eyes at Rachel and felt a small sting at them, what did she know that I didn't? I blinked my eyes hard as I my vision became blurry fast, but this time was different from the others. I felt like I was connected both to what was happening right now and whatever memory that was trying to start.

**"When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long,**

** And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong."**

_I sighed and closed my math book. This was not how I was planning on spending my Friday night. I was suppose to be at the dance with Finn, not here in my living room doing homework. I sat back against the couch and rubbed my palm against my eye. Why didn't Finn just ask me like I wanted him to? _

_ A knocked on the door made me jump to me feet. Maybe he figured it out and had came to take me. Sure, the dance had been going on for about an hour and a half now, but we could still catch the last dance if we hurried. _

_ I rushed to the door and yanked it open only to huff and fold my arms once I saw who was behind it. _

_ "Nice to see you, too," Santana said offended. _

_ "What do you want?" I asked as I subtly tried to scan around behind her in case Finn would pull up. _

_ "I'm bored, let's go out or something," she said. _

_ I looked back at her, "Aren't you suppose to be at the dance."_

_ "I didn't want to go to the stupid dance. Brittany did. So here we are."_

_ I leaned against the doorframe, "I didn't plan on going out."_

_ She looked down at my outfit, which was literally just a shirt and stripped pajama pants, and scoffed, "I can see that."_

_ "Then you can see that I still don't plan on going out," I quipped and she huffed. _

_ "Come on, Fabray. I know for a fact that it's killing you just sitting here doing nothing while your boyfriend's at the dance having a great time with Berry."_

_ "Wait," I put up my hand, "He's at the dance with Rachel?"_

_ "Yeah, that's probably why he didn't ask you to go with him," she shrugged. _

_ "Ouch," I looked away. I was so going to break up with him on Monday. _

_ "Anyways, let's go do something before I turn to illegal activities again."_

_ It only took a moment before I thought it over and grabbed my jacket from the coat hanger beside the door, "Just make sure we don't go to a big place. I still have on my pjs."_

_ "Sure, whatever," Santana muttered as I closed the door behind me. _

_ By the time Santana had parked the car, my mood had already brightened up. She had taken us to a drive-in movie, though I had no idea that these things existed in Lima, and parked us closest to the screen. As she positioned one of the stereos on her window, I tried to hold in my excitement by stuffing my mouth full of the popcorn she had bought us on the way in. _

_ Once she finished, she turned back to me and gave a strange face, "Jesus, Fabray. Take it easy on the popcorn. It's almost like you're feeding another baby."_

_ I put down the popcorn in my hand and rose an eyebrow at her, "I forget, which are you? Anorexic or bulimic?"_

_ Santana rolled her eyes, grabbed a hand full of popcorn and stuffed it in her mouth before turning to the movie ahead with me following her lead. _

_ It was quiet in the car other than for the random mutterings from the movie. It was obviously tense and it always bothered me on how easy it was for us to slip into something like this. _

_ It bothered me so much that I broke first, "Sorry about the eating disorder joke."_

_ She shifted but kept her eyes ahead, "Sorry about mentioning the baby word. And for... you know."_

_ "What?" I turned my attention over to her but her eyes stayed straight. _

_ "You know. The thing," she tried to say with no luck. When I didn't respond to her, she turned her whole body to face at me, "Me taking your virginity in the locker room the other day."_

_ "No one's even thinking about that, Santana," I snapped, but that was a lie. I thought about it a lot. I dreamed about it every night since and day dreamed about it during classes. It wasn't even because it was amazing, which it kind of was. It was because it meant more to me then it should have. Santana meant more to me than she should have, she always had. So yeah, it was a big deal. Such a big deal, that I could barely deal with it, "I haven't thought about it since."_

_ "Well I'm still sorry," she turned away again. _

_ "Well don't be,"I sighed, "Cause I should thank you."_

_ "For what?" She perked up. _

_ "For being my first," I picked at the leather on the door, "I couldn't imagine it being just anyone, so for right now I'm glad that it was you."_

_ "Oh," she sat all the way back, "No problem then. Anytime. Well no, not anytime. Not ever again."_

_ "Right," I smiled, "Not ever again."_

_ We sat in silence again, this time not so tense. More comfortable if anything, before Santana broke it, "What's your favorite movie?"_

_ I furrowed my brows, "Casablanca. Why?"_

_ "Cause if we ever feel bored again, we can just watch that instead of me paying ten dollars for a crappy movie and stale popcorn."_

_ I giggled and placed a popcorn kernel in my mouth, "This is nothing coated to what we have to deal with at school. We get both the stale food everyday and we're also in the crappy movie."_

_ Santana looked at me and gave a bright smile with a laugh, "Oh shut up and watch the movie."_

_ We laughed a bit more before she turned back to the movie. It took me awhile to turn myself back to the movie as I watched how the way her tongue darted out to lick her lips every so often or how her hands were almost glued to the steering wheel like the car was moving. I even watched the way she smiled every time the movie would tell a joke that wasn't near comedic genius before I turned back to the movie to try to pay attention. I popped another popcorn in my mouth and coughed a little at how not only it was stale but was also dry as dirt. _

_ "I'm thirsty," Santana whined suddenly as if she was reading my mind._

_ I chuckled, "Should have bought a drink."_

_ "I didn't want one," she turned to me again, "Let's go back to one of our houses and get drinks and watch a better movie."_

_ "We haven't even finished this one."_

_ "It's horrible, though," she pushed the stereo out of the car and started it up, "Your house or mine?"_

_ "Yours," I sighed as I threw the leftover popcorn out of my window before she pulled out of the drive-in._

_ Santana sat criss-cross in the middle of her bed and I sat at the head of it. She contently drank her soda while I swirled mine in the bottle._

_ "I'm a genius," she said after a drink, "Did you not need something after those kernels of sand or what?"_

_ "Yep," I set my bottle beside me and leaned against the wall behind me._

_ Santana sighed dramatically, "What's the matter now, Q?"_

_ "Nothing," I shrugged, "I'm just thinking about Finn-"_

_ "Do you think about anything else?" She huffed._

_ I took a moment to try to settle down the irritation I just suddenly developed for her, "Does it not bother you that the people we're dating are at a dance right now while we're here drinking Sprite and complaining about popcorn?"_

_ "I guess," she set her bottle down by the edge of the bed, "but there's other things to think about then the people we're dating."_

_ "Oh like what," I scoffed._

_ "I don't know. School," she offered._

_ "Okay," I said sarcastically._

_ "It's not healthy to think about Finn all the time," she stretched her arms, "Do you honestly think that I only think about Brittany and only Brittany 24-7?"_

_ "Not really, but I'm sure most of the time you do," when she shook her head I sat up off the wall, "Then tell me, what else do you think about?"_

_ "I don't know," she looked down at her nails, "I think about school and glee and cheerleading and sometimes you."_

_ "Seriously boring," I commented before noticing a detail, "Wait, you think about me? How so?"_

_ "I don't know," she folded her arms, "We had sex that one time, so once or twice I think about that."_

_ "What, so you think about me to get yourself off or something?" I asked trying to sound disgusted when I was more intrigued. _

_ I wasn't really interested, I just really wanted to know. Not because of anything. Just cause, you know. Curiosity. That's it. She doesn't have to answer it, but if she wants to it would be fine-_

_ "No," Santana responded just as disgusted as I tried to make myself sound, "I'm not liking this conversation."_

_ "Fine, we'll drop it," I sighed. That was not the answer I was hoping for, "So when the thought of me doesn't get you off, do you ask Brittany-"_

_ "Stop, you're crossing a line," she warned and immediately backed off, "Besides, Quinn, though you think extremely fond of yourself I don't think of you that way. When I think of the time that we had sex its never about the sex part, its about the fact we trusted each other enough to take each other to places even though it wasn't exactly what we were ready for. Or technically wanted. _

_ "It's not always about sex, Q. Sometimes sex isn't even about sex and those were one of those moments because for some dumb ass reason, our relationship is deeper than its ever been. And it freaks me out because Britt and I had sex more than enough times before we started dating and it only took one time for us to connect or something. _

_ "So, stop thinking with your vagina and more with you're heart cause this is some friendship love shit not some perverted thing you've cocked up in your head. Besides, you should really get off your high horse cause the sex wasn't that good enough to get off with."_

_ I was lost for words. Not just at the fact that she insulted and told me off, but because she was feeling what I was feeling, whatever that feeling was. It kind of made my heart swell because the most I've gotten of a heart to heart with anyone like this was with Finn and every other week his included asking to feel up my breasts. _

_ So, without thinking I lunged at her and connected her lips, and pausing in case she was going to push me away and punch me in the face like she should have done last time. _

_ Instead I was welcomed by the touch of her hand on my cheek as she held me in place and deepened the kiss. I knew for sure that I had been wasting my time thinking about Finn all the time. I had so many great things to think about instead._

**"Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows.**

** Lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose."**

Rachel finished singing and the room clapped, except for Santana, Brittany, and I. I felt a warm tear roll down my face and I didn't even know why I was crying. It just hurt, everything about that song hurt and it was about a fucking rose.

As the clapping died down Rachel stopped in front of me as I tried to wipe my tears away, "I'm glad you liked it, Quinn. I hope you can understand what I was trying to say."

"I hate you." I blurted out without my knowledge. I had only realized I said it once the whole room went quiet and my body stood up on its own accord.

"What?" Rachel questioned clearly flabbergasted and so was I, but my mind had more things to say so I just let them go.

"You think you know things, but you don't," I said. I didn't know anything either, but I'd rather her being just as confused as me.

"Quinn, I'm trying to help-"

"By what? Emotionally fucking me in front of everyone? How is that helping?" I bit my lip after saying it because I honestly had no idea where any of this was coming from.

"Stop yelling at her, she was just singing a song," Finn said from in back of me.

I turned to him and he quickly sat down.

"Please, Quinn, I didn't mean any harm," Rachel said catching back my attention.

"Of course you didn't! You never do!"

"I was just trying to help you and you're situation with-"

"Don't even fucking say her name," I stopped for a second as my head began to hurt.

"Quinn-"

"Stop saying Quinn!" I commanded as my head begun to hurt more. I turned my eyes away so that I could turn back focus them on the short girl in front of me, "You don't understand what's going on."

"You're right, I don't. I'm sorry," Rachel looked down obviously defeated.

"I am right," I said more to myself than to her before beginning to storm out of the room.

I stopped when a certain voice piped up, "Go on, Quinn, do what you usually do."

I turned to see a fuming Santana, still sitting with her arms crossed as she said, "Hurt the people trying to help you. You usually do."

I didn't know what to say, so I stuttered a soft, "Santana-"

"It looks like you're back to old Quinn," she said sarcastically, "Congratulations. Go on and storm out now."

I took a sharp breathe before turning and leaving the choir room. She dismissed me, so there wasn't much I could do. What I did do was leave school that very moment and ended up getting lost on the way home. I looked up at the house that wasn't mine and held in a sob as I realized that it was Santana's house.

**Okay, so here that was. That song that Rachel sang was called The Rose from the movie The Rose so if you want to go check it out be my guest. It's a really pretty song. Hope you all enjoyed even though we're not ending on the happiest note.**


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